


Please Delete My Number

by reikouhikari



Category: Original Work
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Gaming, Multi, Occasional Chatspeak, Social Media, Swearing, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:08:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8167907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reikouhikari/pseuds/reikouhikari
Summary: It all began with a wrong number. When Percy texted the number he’d received from a hot girl he had been flirting with in order to set up a date, he didn't think she would give him another person’s number instead. Whoever he’d messaged was clearly unhappy that he had done so at ten in the morning, but it wasn’t his fault that he woke up at a proper time, unlike some people. As they message each other back and forth, their lives begin to intersect and Percy realizes that he may be developing feelings for the other, which leads to some denial. And some matchmaking from his friends and family.[social media/chat fic]





	1. Taro Milk Tea

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is pretty much written entirely through text, online messaging, and whatnot. I don't know if in the future I will write something out "traditionally" but we'll see. I have seven chapters written so far, and I honestly don't see this story as being too long. Definitely under fifteen at least. Who knows?
> 
> Also, I'm aware that people make typos and such, but I didn't want to do it unless I could do it convincingly, and I didn't know how much would be too much. Maybe I could have just kept some of my typos in when I had been writing it; it's too late for that now, sadly. So everyone types with no spelling mistakes, but grammar is a whole other issue... 
> 
> As in real life around college-aged people, there will be swearing and mentions of sex, alcohol, and whatnot. If these make you uncomfortable, I suggest you stop here and click to go somewhere else instead.
> 
> Honestly, this is the first story I've published online in several years, on an entirely new platform (I used fictionpress before and they don't allow chat/text/etc), so um, yeah. That's all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is pretty much written entirely through text, online messaging, and whatnot. I don't know if in the future I will write something out "traditionally" but we'll see. I have seven chapters written so far, and I honestly don't see this story as being too long. Definitely under fifteen at least. Who knows?
> 
> Also, I'm aware that people make typos and such, but I didn't want to do it unless I could do it convincingly, and I didn't know how much would be too much. Maybe I could have just kept some of my typos in when I had been writing it; it's too late for that now, sadly. So everyone types with no spelling mistakes, but grammar is a whole other issue...
> 
> As in real life around college-aged people, there will be swearing and mentions of sex, alcohol, and whatnot. If these make you uncomfortable, I suggest you stop here and click to go somewhere else instead.
> 
> Honestly, this is the first story I've published online in several years, on an entirely new platform (I used fictionpress before and they don't allow chat/text/etc), so um, yeah. That's all.

**Percy >> Yvette**

 

(10:03 AM) Hey there this is percy from the party yesterday  
(10:03 AM) Are you free right now

 

(10:05 AM) Who?

 

(10:05 AM) Awww don’t be like that  
(10:05 AM) I’m the guy you gave your number to yesterday  
(10:06 AM) Tall dark and handsome?  
(10:06 AM) Well maybe not dark but you know

 

(10:07 AM) I think you have the wrong number

 

(10:08 AM) So you’re saying you’re not yvette?

 

(10:08 AM) Not her. You got screwed  
(10:09 AM) Now I’m going back to sleep bye

 

(10:10 AM) But it’s like 10am  
(10:10 AM) Shouldn’t you be up by now

 

(10:11 AM) Shut up

 

\--

 

**Not Yvette >> Percy**

 

(1:16 PM) Jasmine milk tea with boba, thanks

 

(1:16 PM) Whut

 

(1:17 PM) Oh, my bad. This wasn’t for you, sorry

 

(1:17 PM) No prob but how did that happen lol  
(1:18 PM) And it’s all about taro milk tea bro

 

(1:18 PM) I don't like taro milk tea  
(1:19PM) And I accidentally pressed on your window instead when I was replying

 

(1:19 PM) What is wrong with taro milk tea you bastard

 

(1:21 PM) Everything. The flavor is bleh

 

(1:21 PM) EXCUSE ME??????

 

(1:22 PM) Oh my god, you used punctuation. What a miracle  
(1:22 PM) How did you even get my number anyway? Did that girl just enter “her” number in your phone?

 

(1:23 PM) Yeah should have thought it was too easy  
(1:24 PM) AND I TOTALLY USE PUNCTUATION WTF?????

 

(1:26 PM) All I’ve seen you use are question marks. Do you know what commas and periods are?

 

(1:26 PM) No pls tell me

 

(1:29 PM) No thank you. I’m busy drinking my jasmine milk tea which is more delicious than taro

 

(1:30 PM) Are you trying to start a fight???????

 

(1:30 PM) See? Question marks only

 

(1:30 PM) Omg pls go die in a ditch somewhere

 

(1:31 PM) Only if you join me for liking taro milk tea

 

(1:31 PM) WHY DON’T YOU LIKE IT?!?!?!

 

(1:32 PM) It always tastes artificial. Plus, too purple. Taro isn’t that purple

 

(1:32 PM) Fuck you’re just not going to the right boba places man  
(1:33 PM) Where you live? I’ll hook you up bro

 

(1:36 PM) Earth

 

(1:36 PM) And?????

 

(1:38 PM) I’m not giving my address to a stranger who randomly messaged me one day. Stranger danger

 

(1:38 PM) Fineeeeeeeeeeee  
(1:39 PM) If we get to know each other will you eventually tell me????

 

(1:45 PM) Maybe. Also, you must really like your question marks, wow

 

(1:46 PM) Do I???????  
(1:46 PM) ????????  
(1:47 PM) ???????????????

 

(1:48 PM) I’m going to stop responding to you now as you clearly are insane

 

(1:48 PM) Awwwww no come back  
(1:52 PM) Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee  
(2:00 PM) You jerk  
(2:03 PM) Come back to me  
(2:05 PM) My love pls  
(2:18 PM) Pls  
(2:21 PM) Pls don't ignore me

 

\--

 

**Taro Hater >> Percy**

 

(2:36 PM) You are very persistent

 

(2:36 PM) IASHFASKFHASFHASFBA  
(2:36 PM) YOU HAVE RETURNED TO ME!!!!!

 

(2:37 PM) ...I see you have discovered exclamation marks now. Congratulations

 

(2:37 PM) You’re so funny man  
(2:37 PM) Cracking me up here oh man

 

(2:38 PM) Was that sarcasm?

 

(2:38 PM) Nooooooooooooo of course not

 

(2:39 PM) I’m just going to go back to ignoring you then

 

(2:39 PM) I JUST GOT YOU BACK AND YOU’RE LEAVING ME AGAIN?!?!?!

 

(2:40 PM) I do have things to do besides message you all day, you know. Don’t you have work? School?

 

(2:40 PM) It’s summer bro  
(2:41 PM) Taking advantage of my free time

 

(2:41 PM) Oh god, I’m talking to a minor. Abort, abort

 

(2:42 PM) What?????  
(2:42 PM) No fuck I’m in college jesus christ I’m still looking for a job  
(2:42 PM) Wait does that mean you’re over 18?!??!??!

 

(2:43 PM) Your love affair with question marks and exclamation marks is getting out of control, sir  
(2:43 PM) And yes, I am. That’s all you’re getting out of me

 

(2:44 PM) So I’m distracting you from working?????  
(2:44 PM) My bad man

 

(2:45 PM) A little, but I’m not doing much yet so it’s okay. I will have to go in fifteen minutes though

 

(2:45 PM) Awwwwwwwwww  
(2:46 PM) STAY WITH ME

 

(2:46 PM) Do you not have other people to talk to? Am I your only friend or something?

 

(2:46 PM) I DO TOO HAVE FRIENDS  
(2:47 PM) They’re just busy right now so I’m talking to you instead  
(2:47 PM) Plus this is fun

 

(2:48 PM) Do you not have a hobby to do?

 

(2:48 PM) Yeah but it involves my friends  
(2:48 PM) We normally play games together so if they aren’t here then I don’t have shit to do  
(2:49 PM) Besides lie in bed wondering why they have abandoned me so

 

(2:49 PM) ...I see. What games do you guys play?

 

(2:50 PM) A bunch of them!!!!  
(2:50 PM) Overwatch league of legends wow mario kart cards against humanity and other shit  
(2:51 PM) Those are the only ones I can name from the top of my head right now

 

(2:51 PM) Oh, it seems we have some things in common then

 

(2:52 PM) !!!!!!!!  
(2:52 PM) Omg really?!??!?!?  
(2:52 PM) WE NEED TO PLAY TOGETHER SOMETIME  
(2:52 PM) HOLY SHIT CAN WE PLAY RIGHT NOW?!??!?!?  
(2:53 PM) PLS SAVE ME FROM MY BOREDOM  
(2:53 PM) I DON’T CARE WHICH GAME YOU PICK OVERWATCH LEAGUE OR WOW

 

(2:54 PM) Uh, just Overwatch and League, no WoW. But sorry, I can’t right now. I have something to do at 3, and I won’t be done until at least 6 or so

 

(2:55 PM) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
(2:55 PM) But we can play then yes yes yes?????

 

(2:56 PM) We’ll see

 

\--

 

**Percy >> My BFF Lyon**

 

(3:10 PM) I have a new best friend now you’ve been replaced

 

(3:11 PM) Wtf are you talking about?

 

(3:11 PM) Remember the taro milk tea hater I was telling you about?

 

(3:12 PM) Wtf Perc, you’re still talking to them?  
(3:12 PM) Wasn’t that a wrong number?

 

(3:12 PM) IT HAS ONLY BEEN A FEW HOURS OMG IT’S NOT LIKE WE’VE BEEN TALKING FOR MONTHS JEEZ  
(3:13 PM) But anyway  
(3:14 PM) Found out they play the same computer games as us and THEY HAVE TIME FOR ME LATER  
(3:14 PM) !!!!!!!!!!

 

(3:17 PM) Perc pls. Are you salty over the fact that I finally managed to find a job?

 

(3:17 PM) NO!!!!!!  
(3:17 PM) Fuck maybe  
(3:18 PM) Hook me up with some free boba pls bby

 

(3:20 PM) Well, apparently I’ve been replaced sooooooooo

 

(3:20 PM) Fine fine god you drive a hard bargain  
(3:20 PM) You know you my real bae

 

(3:35 PM) You going to come down or what?  
(3:36 PM) Rhett said he’s going to use his break to come hang out for thirty minutes

 

(3:37 PM) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
(3:37 PM) I love you guys again omg

 

(3:38 PM) Text me when you're nearly here so Rhett knows when to take his break  
(3:39 PM) And you only love me cause I give you free boba

 

(3:40 PM) NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo not true at all my bff since elementary school

 

(3:41 PM) I totally don’t believe you

 

(3:42 PM) Jerk you’re lucky I’m about to drive so I can’t unleash my rant at you

 

(3:43 PM) There is a god

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Taro Hater**

 

(4:24 PM) I know you busy with whatever you’re doing but here’s your favorite drink in the whole world  
(4:24 PM) [photo attachment]

 

(6:03 PM) Did you really just send me a picture of your taro milk tea just to spite me?

 

(6:04 PM) Yes yes I did and it was delicious  
(6:05 PM) So you done with your shit????

 

(6:06 PM) Yeah, just finished. Are you still up to play?

 

(6:07 PM) Fuck yeah I am  
(6:07 PM) Friends aren’t home yet booooo  
(6:07 PM) How good are you at league???

 

(6:08 PM) Fairly good. Is that what you want to play?

 

(6:08 PM) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS  
(6:08 PM) LEGGO MY HOMIE  
(6:09 PM) I NEED MY DIAMOND 1 RANK

 

(6:09 PM) What’s your ign?

 

(6:09 PM) SirPercivalFTW

 

(6:10 PM) ...I have no words

 

(6:10 PM) HEY it’s a great name goddammit  
(6:11 PM) Not my fault my parents liked the damn king arthur story

 

(6:12 PM) So Percy is short for Percival? Do you have siblings named after the characters too?

 

(6:12 PM) Yes I do and I’m like the third oldest of six  
(6:13 PM) Is TopoftheWorld you????  
(6:13 PM) What kind of name is THAT lol

 

(6:14 PM) Inside joke, don’t worry about it

 

\--

 

**SirPercivalFTW >> TopoftheWorld**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** so what’s your name  
\- cause it ain’t fair you know shit about me and i don’t know shit about you  
\- other than the fact that you hate the best milk tea flavor in the world

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** You will never get over that, will you?  
\- And you can just call me Gwen

 

 **SirPervicalFTW:** i swear to god that better not be a reference to guinevere or some shit  
\- cause my little sis is named that

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** ...I’ll be honest, it was  
\- Do you have a Lancelot and Gawain too?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** urgh my older brothers  
\- my two little sisters are named guinevere and kay  
\- and then there’s tristan the youngest  
\- mom really wanted to name us all after the knights  
\- cause dad is arthur  
\- but there aren’t any other feminine names among them besides kay  
\- i mean you can’t just name a girl gareth or galahad  
\- so guin got stuck being the queen which she never fails to remind us of  
\- urgh

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Well, in that case, you can call me Morgan

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** you’re enjoying this theme naming shit aren’t you

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Yes, yes I am. It’s a bit funny

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** fffffffffffffff  
\- fine fineeeeeeeeeeeee  
\- i hereby dub thee morgan  
\- now can we start this queue

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** What role will you play?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** either jungle or adc doesn’t matter

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** I’ll go top or support then, depending on what you get

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** sweet  
\- oh boy so good  
\- we get to bot together  
\- wink wink

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** I’m already dreading this game, why are you like this?

 

\--

 

**HearMeRoar >> SirPercivalFTW**

 

 **HearMeRoar:** are you solo queueing?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** dafawk is solo q  
\- there ain’t no more solo q  
\- cause rito pls

 

 **HearMeRoar:** omg you know what i mean, perc

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeah yeah  
\- i’m playing with topoftheworld  
\- aka morgan  
\- aka the taro milk tea hater

 

 **HearMeRoar:** wait you got her name?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** nah don’t think that’s her name  
\- she tried to get me to call her gwen  
\- but i told her nope i ain’t doing that cause of guin  
\- so she told me to call her morgan instead  
\- she was into the whole king arthur naming theme

 

 **HearMeRoar:** you can’t deny that it’s not cool

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** shut up lyon it ain’t cool  
\- anyway you up for a game after this????

 

 **HearMeRoar:** sure, i’m down  
\- want to get rhett too?  
\- he’s the only one free right now

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeah go get that bastard  
\- he promised to carry me but he didn’t  
\- but it’s k cause i got morgan now  
\- cause holy shit she is good man

 

 **HearMeRoar:** perc, do you not know her rank?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** what no why

 

 **HearMeRoar:** she’s challenger

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WTF

 

\--

 

**SirPercivalFTW >> TopoftheWorld**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** YOU’RE CHALLENGER?!??!?

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** What? Yeah. Did you not notice my border…?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i alt-tab out when it’s loading screen  
\- BUT STILL  
\- YOU ARE  
\- CHALLENGER?????????  
\- ????????

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Uh, did I accidentally break you?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** AJSJDJDHSJJDHDBDJSJ  
\- jesus christ man  
\- i just didn’t expect that  
\- no wonder the other team is so hard

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Sorry, it’s why I went on my smurf  
\- Uh, that is…. yeah

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** aknfaslkfjnasflkasnfa  
\- you telling me this CHALLENGER ACCOUNT  
\- IS YOUR SMURF?????  
\- CHALLENGER AS IN  
\- THE TIER JUST BELOW MASTERS  
\- AND JUSYT ABOVE DIAMOND  
\- this is your SMURF??????  
\- ????!??!?!??!?!?!??!?

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Um, yes

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i have no words right now  
\- you’re getting me to diamond 1 dammit  
\- for causing me to nearly have a heart attack

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Yes, yes, I promise to carry you to the best of my ability

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** good  
\- do you not have another lower smurf man?????  
\- this shit is hard

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** No, I only have two accounts here  
\- Sorry

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** shit man  
\- whatever my friends are going to join us next game  
\- you mind?

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** I don’t mind, but I only have time for one more game or so, sorry

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** no prob  
\- you need to sleep????  
\- what time zone you at

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Is that your not-so-subtle way to figure out where I live?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeeeeeee  
\- well????

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** I’m in California right now

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** SWEET SAME TIME ZONE WOOOOOOOO  
\- don’t worry i won’t stalk you or anything

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** I’m not that worried, considering how big the state is  
\- Plus, I travel around a bit so I’m not always here

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** lucky i wanna travel too  
\- so unfair

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Well, sometimes it’s for my job so it’s not all fun and games

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** still nice  
\- i haven't left this state at all  
\- unless you count vegas  
\- anyway i’m gonna invite my friends now

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** Okay  
\- I hope they’re not as crazy as you

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** omg rude  
\- why

 

 **TopoftheWorld:** You like it

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** I DO NOT

 

\--

 

**My BFF Lyon >> Percy**

 

(12:01 AM) Holy shit that was fun

 

(12:01 AM) I know!!!!!!!

 

(12:02 AM) You need to invite her again next time  
(12:02 AM) Does she play anything else?

 

(12:03 AM) Overwatch bby  
(12:03 AM) What happened to being suspicious about talking to her hmmmmmmmmmm  
(12:04 AM) ??????? ????? ???

 

(12:04 AM) Omg shut up, Perc  
(12:05 AM) She doesn’t seem like a suspicious person anyway

 

(12:05 AM) That’s cause she is awesome  
(12:06 AM) I mean even rhett liked her

 

(12:06 AM) I’m pretty sure that’s because he approved of her insulting you all the time

 

(12:07 AM) SHUT UP DON’T REMIND ME  OF THAT

 

(12:07 AM) Maybe if you didn't die so many times…

 

(12:08 AM) LYON SHUT THE FUCK UP

 

(12:08 AM) Feeder

 

(12:09 AM) Omg I swear to god  
(12:09 AM) This coming from the 4/11 kda

 

(12:10 AM) Perc, I came here to have a good time and I'm feeling very attacked right now

 

(12:11 AM) HAHAHAHAHHAHH AHAHHAH

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Morgan the Awesome**

 

(12:11 AM) Thanks for the games!!!!  
(12:12 AM) It was fun

 

(12:12 AM) Yeah, it was. Goodnight, Percy

 

(12:13 AM) Night


	2. Why Is This Happening?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy panics when he thinks he has scared Morgan off, then tries to figure out who she really is, and then gets picked on by his friends.

**Percy >> Morgan the Awesome**

 

(9:14 AM) Help me decide what to get for breakfast  
(9:15 AM) I dunno if I want pancakes or waffles  
(9:18 AM) Morgan pls  
(9:20 AM) This is an emergency  
(9:21 AM) Halp

 

(9:23 AM) What the motherloving hell are you doing texting me at this time of day

 

(9:24 AM) Whoa there so hostile

 

(9:25 AM) Shit, pick pancakes  
(9:25 AM) I thought I told you I wasn’t a morning person wtf you doing to me

 

(9:26 AM) Sleep-deprived morgan is very angry morgan  
(9:26 AM) Also does not type like she normally does  
(9:27 AM) I’ve learned

 

(9:28 AM) I’m going back to sleep don’t message me until at least noon

 

(9:28 AM) Got it!!!

 

\--

 

**Morgan the Awesome >> Percy**

 

(11:53 AM) I am very sorry for what I wrote to you earlier…

 

(11:54 AM) YOU’RE AWAKE  
(11:54 AM) AND NOT SWEARING AT ME  
(11:55 AM) !!!!!!!

 

(11:56 AM) Um, yes, sorry about that  
(11:57 AM) Most of my friends know better than to talk to me so early  
(11:57 AM) I usually just answer with grunts in person, which apparently translates to being very rude when texting

 

(11:58 AM) I’m just glad you’re no longer swearing at me  
(11:58 AM) It was just so weirdddddddddd

 

(11:59 AM) So did you get pancakes?

 

(11:59 AM) YES I DID  
(12:00 PM) IT WAS DELICIOUS THANK YOU  
(12:00 PM) Do you have work or anything today?

 

(12:03 PM) I work every day, but my schedule is different every time  
(12:04 PM) It depends on what is needed

 

(12:04 PM) Sounds unpredictable and terrible  
(12:05 PM) When do you have free time  
(12:06 PM) HOW CAN YOU HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS IF YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHEN YOU’RE FREE?!??!?!??

 

(12:07 PM) Uh, well… it’s a fun job and I really like doing it  
(12:08 PM) It’s really not that bad. You have to do it in order to know

 

(12:09 PM) What is your job then????  
(12:13 PM) Morgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan  
(12:17 PM) ARE YOU IGNORING ME??????  
(12:18 PM) DID I SOMEHOW OFFEND YOU?????  
(12:25 PM) WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY  
(12:31 PM) HELLO ?????? ??  
(12:33 PM) I’M CRYING NOW  
(12:36 PM) FRIEND PLS

 

\--

 

**Percy >> My BFF Lyon**

 

(12:37 PM) MORGAN HAS STOPPED TALKING TO ME AND I DON’T KNOW WHY OMG HELP

 

(12:39 PM) Wtf Perc  
(12:40 PM) Calm your balls and take a deep breath

 

(12:41 PM) I REFUSE  
(12:42 PM) DID I SCARE HER AWAY??!?!??!??

 

(12:43 PM) Why don’t you start at the beginning?  
(12:43 PM) What did you say to her?

 

(12:44 PM) THAT’S THE THING  
(12:44 PM) She apologized for being rude to me when I woke up her earlier and we moved on to me asking about her work  
(12:45 PM) AND THEN I ASKED HER WHAT HER JOB WAS  
(12:45 PM) AND THAT’S WHEN SHE STOPPED RESPONDING  
(12:46 PM) AND NOW I’M DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED  
(12:47 PM) LYON HALP

 

(12:47 PM) Jesus Christ, Perc  
(12:48 PM) Maybe she’s working right now and can’t respond back to you?

 

(12:49 PM) But you’re working and you reply back!

 

(12:50 PM) Yeah well, not everyone does that  
(12:51 PM) Maybe her job involves more attention and work than mine  
(12:52 PM) I only have to get off my phone when a customer comes in, you know that

 

(12:53 PM) But but but  
(12:54 PM) Ok

 

(12:55 PM) Busy now bye

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Rhett the Bastard**

 

(12:58 PM) Everyone is abandoning me for work

 

(12:59 PM) And I will do the same.

 

(1:01 PM) WHY ARE YOU SO HEARTLESS YOU BASTARD

 

(1:02 PM) Please. I think I’ve upgraded to being a Nobody by now.

 

(1:02 PM) That was so lame why the fuck am I friends with you

 

(1:03 PM) I ask myself that everyday, but in regards to you.

 

(1:04 PM) RUDE

 

(1:04 PM) I need to go back to work now.

 

(1:05 PM) NO DON’T LEAVE ME PLS I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID  
(1:06 PM) OMG RHETT PLS  
(1:07 PM) ENTERTAIN MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

(1:07 PM) No.  
(1:08 PM) Bye.

 

(1:08 PM) RHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT  
(1:09 PM) Fuck you

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Chell the Perv**

 

(1:11 PM) Entertain me pls

 

(1:12 PM) Busy with fanfics sorry not sorry

 

(1:13 PM) You ass stop reading your smut for once

 

(1:14 PM) Go play a game by yourself

 

(1:14 PM) Why not with you????

 

(1:15 PM) Because I'm reading a 80k word fanfic and I can't stop now

 

(1:16 PM) Chell wtf

 

(1:16 PM) What  
(1:16 PM) This is nothing

 

(1:17 PM) You scare me sometimes  
(1:17 PM) And yet you complain when you have to read for class

 

(1:18 PM) THAT'S BECAUSE THE BOOKS I HAVE TO READ FOR CLASS DON'T HAVE MY OTPS DAMMIT

 

(1:20 PM) Like I said  
(1:20 PM) You scare me

 

(1:21 PM) Why don't you bother someone else

 

(1:21 PM) I did  
(1:22 PM) But Lyon and Rhett are working  
(1:22 PM) And Luke is busy teaching until 3

 

(1:23 PM) Not my problem byeeeeeeeee

 

(1:23 PM) Fuck you chell

 

(1:24 PM) Love you tooooooo

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Morgan the Awesome**

 

(2:13 PM) BABY COME BACK TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
(2:25 PM) I PROMISE TO CHANGE

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Luke hot damn**

 

(3:14 PM) Luke luke luke  
(3:15 PM) Psssssst

 

(3:17 PM) ???

 

(3:17 PM) Are you done with your shit???

 

(3:18 PM) I have another hour before I'm going home  
(3:19 PM) Why

 

(3:19 PM) WHY IS EVERYONE BUSY GODDAMMIT

 

(3:20 PM) Oh you're bored aren't you

 

(3:20 PM) YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS  
(3:21 PM) I WANT TO CRY  
(3:21 PM) CHELL WOULD RATHER READ HER SMUT THAN PLAY WITH ME

 

(3:22 PM) Are you really that surprised

 

(3:22 PM) No  
(3:22 PM) But still  
(3:23 PM) It's the principle of the thing  
(3:23 PM) I thought we were friends sob

 

(3:24 PM) Well unfortunately I need to get back to my swimming  
(3:25 PM) This was just a bit of a break

 

(3:25 PM) LUKE I KNOW YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW CAUSE YOU'RE DONE TEACHING  
(3:26 PM) DO IT  
(3:26 PM) JUST DO IT

 

(3:27 PM) I'll talk to you later perc

 

(3:27 PM) I hate you so much

 

(3:28 PM) No you don't lol

 

\--

 

**Morgan the Awesome >> Percy**

 

(5:58 PM) I’m so sorry, I had to work

 

(5:59 PM) I’m crying tears of joy right now  
(6:00 PM) You’ve come back to me  
(6:01 PM) I’ve missed you so much

 

(6:01 PM) I, um, noticed  
(6:02 PM) Sorry, I had to turn off my phone

 

(6:02 PM) You were keeping me from going bored and then you disappeared and now my friends are annoyed at me for bugging them so much while they were working

 

(6:04 PM) Oh. You shouldn’t bother them when they’re working, anyway  
(6:05 PM) What do they do?

 

(6:06 PM) Since you only know these two, Lyon works at a boba shop at the food court and Rhett is a waiter at a fancy restaurant  
(6:06 PM) I usually only bother Lyon anyway  
(6:07 PM) He’s the one who has periods of time when he doesn’t have anything to do but wait for customers to come

 

(6:08 PM) Ah, I see  
(6:09 PM) Why don’t you have a job?

 

(6:09 PM) Cause I’m waiting for responses from the ones I applied to which is taking forever and I’m beginning to lose my patience and shit  
(6:10 PM) THEY NEED CALL ME ALREADY

 

(6:10 PM) When did you apply?

 

(6:11 PM) Not that long ago but the suspense is killing me ugh  
(6:12 PM) I want this over with

 

(6:12 PM) There, there. I’m sure you’ll receive your answer soon

 

(6:13 PM) Soooooooooooooooooo  
(6:13 PM) What do you do?????

 

(6:14 PM) Oh  
(6:14 PM) Uh, it’s a bit… not expected?

 

(6:15 PM) Again  
(6:15 PM) Suspense is killing me  
(6:16 PM) Is it something bad?  
(6:16 PM) ARE YOU A GANG MEMBER??????  
(6:17 PM) DRUG DEALER?!??!?!?  
(6:17 PM) HITMAN??????

 

(6:18 PM) What, no, none of those things, holy crap  
(6:18 PM) Do I seem like someone who does those things?

 

(6:19 PM) You said unexpected soooooooooooo  
(6:20 PM) You gonna tell me any time soon???????  
(6:20 PM) Can’t leave me hanging like this Morgan pls

 

(6:21 PM) Okay, okay. Just promise not to judge me  
(6:21 PM) I’m an actress

 

(6:22 PM) Like a legit actress????  
(6:22 PM) From like hollywood???  
(6:23 PM) Are you an aspiring actress who still waits tables and stuff while waiting for her big break????  
(6:24 PM) Or are you an actress on youtube and only do skits and stuff???

 

(6:25 PM) I've had roles in tv shows and movies  
(6:26 PM) Although they’re not huge roles ‘cause I’m not a beautiful white woman

 

(6:27 PM) Oh snap the diss

 

(6:27 PM) Couldn’t help it. Anyway, I also have a youtube channel, which I’m not linking you

 

(6:28 PM) WHAT WHY NOT  
(6:28 PM) Do you not trust me??????

 

(6:29 PM) It’s nothing really interesting. Just a gaming channel which also has highlights of my League games  
(6:30 PM) My main League account is in Master, btw, and I didn’t want to run the risk of you recognizing it so I decided to go on my smurf instead, sorry

 

(6:32 PM) Wtf you sneaky bastard  
(6:32 PM) You realize that now I’m going to have to stalk you  
(6:33 PM) I hope you’re ready for this

 

(6:34 PM) I haven’t really given you much information about me for you to begin on your stalking journey  
(6:35 PM) And if I give you a hint, it might be too easy for you to figure out

 

(6:36 PM) Well I just have to look at the list of people in Master and figure out who’s a girl and has a youtube account  
(6:37 PM) Google is my best friend

 

(6:37 PM) Best of luck to you, Percy

 

(6:38 PM) Sooooooo  
(6:38 PM) No hint?

 

(6:39 PM) No, Percy, no hint

 

(6:40 PM) Awwwwwwwwww

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** SO SO SO

 

 **HearMeRoar:** oh god, what did you do now

 

 **Rhett and Link:** You should never ask that question.  
\- You know what happened last time.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** oh god, please don’t remind me

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i don’t think i’ve recovered from that still

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** same

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WOW RUDE  
\- WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU  
\- AND YOU GUYS WERE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO ELABORATE

 

 **Ship All The Things:** but not like this  
\- not  
\- like  
\- this

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** fuck you  
\- i don’t even wanna tell you what i learned about morgan anymore

 

 **HearMeRoar:** what? morgan?  
\- what did you learn about her?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i wanna know  
\- spill the beans percy

 

 **Ship All The Things:** morgan as in the one who ignored you for hours  
\- and made you annoy all of us because you couldn’t handle it?  
\- that morgan?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ...that makes me sound terrible and clingy

 

 **Ship All The Things:** but so true

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Stop antagonizing him, Chell.  
\- What did you learn, Percy?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** you’re no fun

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** SHE FINALLY TOLD ME WHAT JOB SHE HAS  
\- SHE’S APPARENTLY AN ACTRESS  
\- AND HAS A YOUTUBE GAMING CHANNEL  
\- AND REFUSES TO FUCKING TELL ME WHAT IT IS  
\- ALSO HER MAIN LEAGUE ACCOUNT IS IN MASTER  
\- LIKE WTF  
\- so now i’m stalking her

 

 **HearMeRoar:** pls don’t stalk her  
\- i don’t want to bail you out of jail

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** what does she mean by ‘actress’?  
\- like she’s a hollywood actress?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** a legit one  
\- in tv shows and movies  
\- but she isn’t a huge actress with large roles  
\- cause she ‘ain’t white’

 

 **Ship All The Things:** OOOOOH SNAP  
\- that diss  
\- someone find the nearest burn center

 

 **Rhett and Link:** So she’s a minority actress who has had roles in tv shows and movies, and has a gaming channel on youtube.  
\- Have you made any progress on figuring out who she is?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** no  
\- i’ve been googling the names in master  
\- in hopes that she uses the same username elsewhere  
\- and it’s taking a while  
\- pls help

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i’m busy sorry

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** yeah, busy reading fanfics

 

 **Ship All The Things:** YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, LUKE????

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** -points to my name-

 

 **Ship All The Things:** NO YOU CAN’T DO THAT

 

 **HearMeRoar:** children pls  
\- no fighting

 

 **Ship All The Things:** but daaaaaaaaaaaad  
\- he always uses his name to get out of shit!

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** liesssssssssss

 

 **HearMeRoar:** ...i am not drunk enough for this

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** but you don’t drink!

 

 **Ship All The Things:** legasp  
\- dad’s becoming an alcoholic!!!!

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** look what you've done to dad!  
\- you've driven him to drink

 

 **Ship All The Things:** this is all your fault, not mine!!!!

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i swear to god  
\- i will no longer give you discounted milk tea

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Harsh, Lyon.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** oh snap  
\- dad’s maaaaaaaaaad  
\- !!!!

 

 **Ship All The Things:** I’LL BE GOOD  
\- PLEASE DON’T DO THAT

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** YEAH ME TOO  
\- I NEED MY BOBA FIX

 

 **HearMeRoar:** so are we going to play tonight?  
\- i need to know when i should eat dinner

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Same.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i can play

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** need a break from all that yaoi?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** THE FACT YOU KNOW THE LINGO MEANS YOU ARE IN FANDOM TOO, BITCH  
\- ALSO  
\- I KNOW YOUR SIDE TUMBLR  
\- BITCH

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** ….are you blackmailing me?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** I WILL LINK IT HERE  
\- AND EXPOSE YOU FOR THE DIRTY THING YOU ARE  
\- YOU NAUGHTY BOI

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** HOW DID YOU EVEN FIND IT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** secret  
\- i have my fangirl ways

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wait wtf luke has another tumblr?  
\- ARE YOU DRAWING FURRY PORN??????  
\- IS THAT IT?????  
\- CHELL TELL US  
\- I MUST KNOW

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i will draw you klance fanart if you don’t tell anyone

 

 **HearMeRoar:** omg  
\- is this the real life?

 

 **Rhett and Link:** It’s definitely not fantasy.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** luke is desperate as fuck  
\- this is great  
\- this means there are terrible things on that tumblr  
\- I WANT THE DEETS CHELL

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** NO  
\- CHELL DON’T YOU DARE  
\- I WILL EXPOSE YOUR SECRETS

 

 **Ship All The Things:** GO AHEAD  
\- YOU GUYS KNOW MOST OF THEM ANYWAY  
\- MUAHAHAHAHAHA

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** GODDAMMIT CHELL

 

 **HearMeRoar:** have some shame pls  
\- you’re disappointing me

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

 

 **Ship All The Things:** never, dad  
\- i will be shameless forever  
\- I WANT SMUT, LUKE

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** I CAN’T DRAW GAY SMUT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** YOU GO TO THE GYM  
\- SURROUNDED BY HOT GUYS  
\- THERE'S YOUR REFERENCE

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** THAT'S NOT THE SAME AND YOU KNOW IT

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Didn't you get hit on by a guy once or twice before?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** OMG YES I FORGOT ABOUT THAT  
\- SEE???  
\- REFERENCE

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** THAT DOESN'T TRANSLATE TO PORN  
\- YOU'RE NOT HELPING RHETT OMG

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Who said I was trying to?  
\- It isn't as if I'm on your side.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** what did i do to you omg  
\- wait  
\- are you still mad about what happened the other day?

 

 **Rhett and Link:** No.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** fuck  
\- you are

 

 **Ship All the Things:** ooh lala i sense juicy gossip

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Michelle.  
\- No.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ok ok ok  
\- i can tell when you’re being serious here

 

 **HearMeRoar:** ...is everything ok?

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Don’t worry about it.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** are you sure?  
\- cause you saying that makes me worry

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeah like  
\- ??????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** everyone knows that it means bad things

 

 **Rhett and Link:** We’ll deal with it.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** yeah it’s ok

 

 **HearMeRoar:** if you say so…

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** right so chell  
\- do i really have to draw you smut  
\- cause i can’t do that  
\- IS THERE NO OTHER WAY?????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** NOPE  
\- I HAVE THE URL COPIED  
\- GETTING READY TO CTRL V  
\- LAST CHANCE BBY

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** FINE FINE FINE  
\- I’LL DRAW YOU KLANCE SMUT OMG

 

 **Ship All The Things:** it was pleasure doing busy with you

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** you are satan  
\- saaaaaaataaaaaaaaaaaan

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wait noooooooooooo  
\- i wanted to know luke’s secret tumblr

 

 **Ship All The Things:** sorry, percy but deal is a deal

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i can’t believe you agreed to that  
\- you don’t draw that stuff at all

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** it’s worth it  
\- i think  
\- maybe

 

 **Rhett and Link:** You do realize that this means Chell can now threaten you to do anything she wants, right?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** ...fuck

 

 **Ship All The Things:** muahahahahaha

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** regrets were made

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i will make you draw all the gay smut

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Don’t take advantage of Luke, Chell.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** awwwwww  
\- fine, mommy

 

 **Rhett and Link:** ...I shall ignore that you called me that.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** heehee

 

 **HearMeRoar:** so yes or no on gaming?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i’m down

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I’ll microwave some leftovers then.  
\- Which game are we playing?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** overwatch?  
\- is your friend free, perc?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** I SHALL CHECK  
\- GIMME A SEC

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i guess i should start making my dinner then

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** what are you going to eat

 

 **HearMeRoar:** instant ramen

 

 **Ship All The Things:** that’s so sad, lyon  
\- why don’t you cook  
\- there’s probably still some time

 

 **HearMeRoar:** no, it’s fine  
\- it’s quick and easy

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong** : tis the college life

 

 **Rhett and Link:** What flavor ramen is it?

 

 **HearMeRoar:** some fancy flavor called black pepper crab  
\- a coworker recommended i try it

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** SHE SAID YES  
\- SHE’S GETTING ONLINE RIGHT NOW

 

 **Ship All The Things:** so are we gonna suddenly find out that she’s some top tier player for overwatch too?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i hope so  
\- we needs the carries  
\- coughchellcough

 

 **Ship All The Things:** EXCUSE ME

 

 **Rhett and Link:** No, the load is Percy.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** OH WOW  
\- THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

 

 **Ship All The Things:** he fucking went there hahahAHAHAHAH  
\- rhett just set him on fiyaaaaaaaah

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** savage

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** here i am just innocently sitting here  
\- and rhett decides to burn me like that

 

 **Rhett and Link:** But it is the truth.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** FUCK YOU BASTARD

 

 **HearMeRoar:** children pls omg  
\- I LEAVE FOR ONE SECOND  
\- ONE  
\- DAMN  
\- SECOND

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** DAAAAAAAAAAAAAD  
\- MOMMY’S BEING MEAN TO ME

 

 **Rhett and Link:** ...why am I the mom?  
\- How did this even happen?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** cause lyon’s the dad  
\- duh

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i mean, we can always have two dads????

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** holy shit you’re right  
\- motion for us to have two dads????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** AYE

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** AYE

 

 **HearMeRoar:** wait no

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** MOTION PASSED  
\- WE NOW HAVE TWO DADS  
\- CONGRATS LYON AND RHETT  
\- YOU’RE NOW MARRIED

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I am not healing you this game.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WHAT YOU CAN’T DO THAT  
\- IF WE LOSE IT’S YOUR FAULT

 

 **HearMeRoar:** if we lose, i vote we blame perc

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ok

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i’m down with that

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** holy fuck wow you just turned on me so fast  
\- i feel so unappreciated  
\- why am i friends with you all

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Please invite Morgan to the game already.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** fine fine  
\- should i invite her to chat?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** sure

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ok just sent her the link  
\- i wonder what her screenname is for discord

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** hoping it’ll be her main league name?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yes

 

 **Tenmei:** I’m afraid it’s not

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** DAMMIT  
\- I NEED A HINT

 

 **Tenmei:** No hints, I told you already

 

 **HearMeRoar:** hey, morgan

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I hope you’re ready to carry the load that is Percy.

 

 **Tenmei:** I shall do my best

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** RHETT YOU BASTARD

 

 **Ship All The Things:** haaaaaaaaaiiiii  
\- i’m michelle but you can just call me chell  
\- i have heard many things about you

 

 **Tenmei:** I hope they’re good things

 

 **Ship All The Things:** maaaaaaaaaaaybe

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i’m luke  
\- pls help us win

 

 **HearMeRoar:** is there a role you play best?

 

 **Tenmei:** I’m comfortable with any, really. Although I tend to play more support or tank roles with my friends

 

 **HearMeRoar:** well i’m usually the tank and Rhett is our healer  
\- so you don’t have to force yourself into those roles if you don’t want them

 

 **Ship All The Things:** lyon’s so pure  
\- i’m crying  
\- how are we friends with this angel

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** lyon is a cinnamon roll

 

 **Ship All The Things:** so true  
\- simply the sweetest

 

 **HearMeRoar:** guys pls…  
\- you’re embarrassing me here

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I’m afraid I have to agree with them here.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** what

 

 **Ship All The Things:** YESSSSSSSSSS WE GOT RHETT ON OUR SIDE

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** THIS MEANS YOU GOTTA ACCEPT THE FACTS LYON

 

 **HearMeRoar:** omg no  
\- rhett, why?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** it’s too late  
\- you are cinnamon roll

 

 **HearMeRoar:** then you are the sinnamon roll, perc

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeah i can’t argue against that  
\- it’s the truth

 

 **Tenmei:** I agree with that statement

 

 **Ship All The Things:** AHAHAHAHAHAHA  
\- i like you, morgan  
\- you’re cool

 

 **Tenmei:** Thanks

 

 **Ship All The Things:** so can we have a game where we’re all hanzo  
\- cause i need that in my life right now

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** you troll

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** OMG WE SHOULD

 

 **HearMeRoar:** children pls

 

 **Rhett and Link:** It might be fun.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** omg rhett don’t encourage them

 

 **Ship All The Things:** DADDY SAYS YES  
\- LET’S DO IT

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

 **Tenmei:** I have no idea what’s going on right now, but I'm okay with anything

 

 **HearMeRoar:** am i the only sane man here

 

 **Ship All The Things:** yes

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** yes

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yas

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Can we finally go find a match please?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** oops yeah we in queue now

 

 **HearMeRoar:** voice call?  
\- do you mind, morgan?

 

 **Tenmei:** No, I don’t mind. It’s not like Percy can figure out who I am by my voice alone

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER  
\- but yeah no there’s no way i can do that

 

 **Ship All The Things:** PICK HANZO  
\- REMMEBER

 

\--

 

**Rhett and Link >> Tenmei**

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I suppose Percy never thought to google your smurf’s name instead?

 

 **Tenmei:** Oh. Well, that’s interesting  
\- I suppose the results would eventually mention who I am, wouldn’t they

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Yes, they lead to the name of your main account, and the top results for that are your Youtube account and your League wiki page. Which showcases your real name.  
\- [screenshot attachment]

 

 **Tenmei:** Ah, yes, that is indeed me  
\- It’s why I didn’t want to tell him my main username  
\- It would have been far too easy

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I understand.  
\- Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.

 

 **Tenmei:** Thank you

 

 **Rhett and Link:** At least I now know the meaning behind your smurf.

 

 **Tenmei:** Ahaha, yes, I told Percy that it was an inside joke when he asked about it

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Inside joke indeed.

 

 **Tenmei:** Yes  
\- Have you told anyone else about your discovery?

 

 **Rhett and Link:** No, I haven’t.  
\- Your secret identity is safe with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I...uh...had a lot of trouble thinking up of usernames for Percy's friends. And I'm still wondering if I should insert emojis and stuff into this story... 
> 
> And I actually wasn't sure whether I wanted Morgan to be a pro gamer or an actress, so I made her be both :D The League of Legends World Championships were coming up when I wrote this chapter so...esports was on my mind, ahaha haha...
> 
> Also, Chell is my favorite to write because she's just so much fun, haha.


	3. Mayhem in the Ranks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy finds out who Morgan really is, gets traumatized repeatedly, and wonders why some drama has to happen, but it's okay because it gets resolved quickly.

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong, Tenmei**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** hai save me from boredom pls

 

 **Tenmei:** You’re lucky I was on Discord already, or else I would have never seen this

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** why were you on discord???  
\- don’t you have work????  
\- i was really expecting chell to talk to me  
\- cause that girl is always online  
\- but i still text her anyway just in case

 

 **Ship All The Things:** HEY  
\- I AM NOT

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WELL YOU'RE ALWAYS ONLINE READING YOUR FANFICS

 

 **Ship All The Things:** shit, that's true  
\- YOU WIN THIS TIME

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** woooooooooooo

 

 **Ship All The Things:** and hai morgan  
\- you don't have work?

 

 **Tenmei:** I'm on my lunch break right now  
\- Waiting for them to finish filming this scene and then it's my turn

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** what show is this

 

 **Tenmei:** That would be a hint

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** SHIT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** lololol

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** COME ON MORGAN PLS

 

 **Tenmei:** Nope, I said no hints

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** THIS IS FUCKING TORTURE  
\- BE MERCIFUL

 

 **Tenmei:** I’m sure you can do better than this

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WAS THAT A CHALLENGE??????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** oh noes  
\- you’re getting him all excited now

 

 **Tenmei:** I didn’t realize challenges gave Percy boners

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WHUT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ASKJDASBKLFBASLFBA  
\- OMG  
\- MORGAN  
\- I FUCKING LOVE YOU

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WHUT  
\- MORGAN WTF  
\- NO  
\- NO

 

 **Tenmei:** I’m just saying  
\- I’m not kinkshaming you or anything

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** MORGAN PLS WTF  
\- I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS FROM YOU  
\- SHOULDN’T YOU BE THE MATURE ONE?!?!??!?!

 

 **Ship All The Things:** THIS IS JUST BEAUTIFUL

 

 **Tenmei:** You keep doing you, Percy  
\- Go get excited about those challenges  
\- Just remember to use protection

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i think i’m dying right now  
\- can’t  
\- stop  
\- laughing  
\- halp

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i hope you choke on your own spit chell  
\- go die

 

 **Ship All The Things:** so mean  
\- what a jerk  
\- i’m telling dad

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** WHICH ONE??????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** LYON  
\- rhett would kill me if i bother him during work

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** true true  
\- so morgan  
\- when does your break end?

 

 **Tenmei:** I have another ten minutes  
\- It’s difficult to eat, type, and talk at the same time  
\- I’m not sure how I’m doing this right now

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** who you talking to besides us???

 

 **Tenmei:** My costars  
\- Also I finally landed a major role in a movie  
\- Not saying which one, even though I really want to because I’m so happy right now

 

 **Ship All The Things:** YAY  
\- congrats, morgan

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** come oooooooooon  
\- we must know!!!  
\- we’ll go see it when it comes out!!!!

 

 **Tenmei:** Nooooooope, sorry  
\- Also, you guys might go see it regardless of whether I’m in it or not

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** FUCK  
\- WHEN DOES IT COME OUT???  
\- A HINT PLS

 

 **Tenmei:** Gotta go now, bye!

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** MORGAN YOU JERK  
\- YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i believe she just did lololol

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Morgan**

 

(6:32 PM) I FOUND YOUR YOUTUBE  
(6:32 PM) BOOYAH

 

(6:33 PM) How in the world did you manage that?

 

(6:34 PM) I got lucky  
(6:34 PM) Someone posted one of your highlights on the league subreddit  
(6:35 PM) And I recognized myself and went holy shit I know this

 

(6:36 PM) Well, that’s certainly a way to figure that out  
(6:37 PM) I thought you were still googling all the names in Master

 

(6:37 PM) I gave up on that loooooong ago  
(6:38 PM) Too lazy  
(6:38 PM) But now I know!!!!

 

(6:39 PM) Have you read the comments yet?

 

(6:39 PM) No why?  
(6:41 PM) WTF

 

(6:41 PM) Ah, and now you know who I am

 

(6:42 PM) HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO SURPRISE THE HELL OUTTA ME  
(6:43 PM) NO WONDER YOU’RE IN CHALLENGER AND MASTER  
(6:44 PM) YOU’RE KAGURAHIME??????  
(6:44 PM) THE NA TOP LANER GOOD ENOUGH FOR A KOREAN TEAM????

 

(6:45 PM) Yes, I am  
(6:45 PM) Although technically, I was never in the NA league so you can’t really call me an NA player…

 

(6:46 PM) Shhhhhh  
(6:47 PM) I’m busy being speechless and spluttering out loud  
(6:48 PM) I can’t believe I didn’t recognize your NA smurf wtf  
(6:48 PM) Top of the world pffffft I get it now

 

(6:49 PM) I rarely upload highlights with my smurf, so it’s not that surprising  
(6:50 PM) And I did tell you that it was an inside joke

 

(6:51 PM) Inside joke my ass  
(6:52 PM) I’m pretty sure everyone who has heard of you knows why you’re ‘top of the world’ miss former top laner for a world championship winning team

 

(6:53 PM) Guilty as charge  
(6:53 PM) Although the problem with that is that I haven’t played professionally for two years now. Retired, remember?  
(6:54 PM) People probably don’t really remember me  
(6:54 PM) Anyway, have you gone on my youtube channel yet?

 

(6:55 PM) Later  
(6:55 PM) I’m reading your wiki page

 

(6:56 PM) Oh my god, why are you doing that?

 

(6:56 PM) I like the trivia section muahahaha  
(6:57 PM) Oh you’re from san francisco

 

(6:57 PM) Yes, but I’m usually in LA now  
(6:58 PM) Well, only occasionally. Sometimes we film elsewhere like Toronto and stuff  
(6:59 PM) Also, I feel compelled to tell you that I’ll be in another country soon because of the new movie role so I won’t be able to talk to you for a while

 

(7:00 PM) WHAT?!?!?  
(7:00 PM) HOW CAN YOU ABANDON ME LIKE THIS  
(7:01 PM) MORGAN PLS  
(7:02 PM) Actually can I call you by your real name now???  
(7:02 PM) Since it’s you know on your page and all

 

(7:03 PM) Sure, I don’t mind

 

(7:03 PM) Excellent  
(7:03 PM) HINA WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEEE

 

(7:04 PM) Hahaha, I’m very sorry, but I’m sure you can do well without me. After all, we’ve only known each other for a little over a week?

 

(7:05 PM) I CAN STILL MISS MY FRIEND DAMMIT  
(7:05 PM) When will you be gone and for how long

 

(7:06 PM) Day after tomorrow, and for about a month or so. It depends on whether we’re on schedule or not  
(7:07 PM) So you want to play some games together while we still can?

 

(7:08 PM) YES I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** I KNOW WHO SHE IS

 

 **HearMeRoar:** what  
\- oh, she's not in this chat

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong** : you finally found out her secret identity?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** YASSSSSSS

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Finally.  
\- You were taking so long, I almost wanted to give you a hint.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** whut  
\- WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** it’s rhett  
\- he knows all

 

 **Ship All The Things:** as expected of daddy

 

 **HearMeRoar:** ...that still sounds wrong

 

 **Ship All The Thing:** don't kinkshame me, dad

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I googled her smurf instead and eventually, I got to her League wiki page, which gave me the information necessary.  
\- [website URL]

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i like how he just ignores me  
\- dad, daddy is being meaaaaaaan

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i give up on you kids

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** wait, morgan was a pro league player?!?!  
\- that explains so much omg  
\- i guess i should get used to calling her by her real name now

 

 **HearMeRoar:** so what now, perc?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** nothing really  
\- i’ve been watching some of her videos on youtube  
\- she has some cool highlights mostly from her main account  
\- well i guess main account in na cause she has one in the korea server too  
\- although the older ones seem to be from when she played overseas

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i just googled her name

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** stalker

 

 **Ship All The Things:** I'M JUST TAKING A PAGE OUTTA PERCY’S BOOK

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** EXCUSE ME  
\- I AIN’T NO STALKER

 

 **Ship All The Things:** DON'T DENY IT  
\- ANYWAY  
\- she has an imdb page  
\- [website URL]  
\- and  
\- she's playing mulan  
\- for the live action movie

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** FUCK NO WONDER SHE'S GOING OUT OF THE COUNTRY THEN

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ooooooh nice  
\- filming on location is always cool

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** holy crap she plays natalie in sojourner  
\- i can’t watch that show anymore  
\- cause now all i see is morgan the ex pro player  
\- uh hina

 

 **HearMeRoar:** wait, really?  
\- i love that show  
\- i was really happy when natalie showed up  
\- cause it meant david’s search wasn’t in vain

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** same  
\- that reunion episode killed me

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i’ll admit it  
\- i cried when they hugged

 

 **Ship All The Things:** GUYS GUYS GUYS  
\- YOU SEEM TO NOT HAVE NOTICED  
\- THAT SHE’S GOING TO BE IN A NEW HARRY POTTER MOVIE  
\- [website URL]  
\- HOW DID I NOT HEAR THAT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A NEW HP MOVIE???????

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf omg  
\- I THOUGHT THEY WERE FINISHED WITH THAT SERIES  
\- ?????????  
\- this looks like the main cast ain’t in it?????  
\- NEW PEOPLE?????

 

 **Ship All The Things:** it looks like she's just a supporting character though  
\- judging by some pics and websites

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i think i just jizzed in my pants

 

 **HearMeRoar:** LUKE NO

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** LYON YOU DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND  
\- HP WAS MY LIFE  
\- DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FANART I DREW WHEN I WAS YOUNGER  
\- A LOT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** same, luke  
\- to all of that  
\- my ovaries just exploded from this news  
\- do you think she will help us get autographs????

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I’m fairly certain she didn’t tell us who she was in the beginning because she was afraid of this exact reaction.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** yeah, guys  
\- calm down, okay?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** oh, i wasn’t serious  
\- i mean, it would be cool  
\- but i’m just so jelly  
\- she gets to be in the world of harry potter!!!

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i still need to go to harry potter land

 

 **Ship All The Things:** same

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** we should have gone during the summer  
\- but now it’s too late  
\- goddammit

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Technically, I can go myself, as I’m not bound by the rules of university anymore.  
\- I have some vacation days saved up.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** omg i swear to god, rhett, if you go just to taunt us…  
\- i will write fanfic of you and luke  
\- SMUTTY ONES

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** wait what  
\- why did i get dragged into this  
\- WHY ARE YOU SHIPPING ME AND RHETT

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i remember, luke  
\- i remember

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** whut

 

 **Ship All The Things:** how rhett was mad at you, and you asked if it was “about the other day”  
\- trouble in paradise?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** …  
\- no  
\- nothing happened

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** oh shit i think you might have hit something there chell

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ….i actually was just joking  
\- luke?  
\- you’re not mad at me, right?

 

 **HearMeRoar:** ...rhett…?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i don’t think anything is more damning than rhett’s silence holy shit  
\- this is awkward

 

 **Ship All The Things:** oh god, i’m so sorry  
\- did i hurt your feelings?  
\- shit  
\- luke, please

 

 **HearMeRoar:** rhett, please  
\- can someone explain…?  
\- they’re not responding  
\- they're both offline now

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** and now i’m worried  
\- fuck

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i’m so sorry omg

 

 **HearMeRoar:** it’s not your fault  
\- there was no way you could have known  
\- although i do wish they could have mentioned something…

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** maybe they went on a first date  
\- and it went wrong  
\- like they found out they weren’t compatible or something

 

 **Ship All The Things:** i just feel really bad, guys

 

 **HearMeRoar:** it’ll be fine, chell  
\- perc, go talk to rhett  
\- i’ll talk to luke

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** gotcha boss

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Rhett the Bastard**

 

(10:11 PM) Rhett you alright?  
(10:12 PM) I know you might not have me as the first choice to talk to about feelings and stuff  
(10:13 PM) But I will listen k?  
(10:13 PM) We’re friends yeah?

 

(10:16 PM) Thank you, Percy.

 

(10:16 PM) You willing to talk yet or no

 

(10:17 PM) Maybe another time.

 

(10:17 PM) No prob  
(10:18 PM) I’m here whenever you need me

 

\--

 

**Lyon >> Luke**

 

(10:11 PM) Luke, what’s going on?  
(10:13 PM) You know you can’t ignore us like this forever  
(10:16 PM) Luke

 

(10:17 PM) I messed up badly

 

(10:18 PM) What happened?

 

(10:20 PM) I got scared of my feelings

 

(10:21 PM) Why don't you tell me what happened?

 

(10:22 PM) So we have been dating for a few months now  
(10:23 PM) We didn’t tell you guys cause we just didn’t know how  
(10:24 PM) And what happened was that he told me he loved me  
(10:25 PM) And I didn’t say it back to him  
(10:26 PM) And he had looked at me like he was expecting me to  
(10:27 PM) I mean, I’m fairly sure I love him  
(10:28 PM) But I was scared cause I’ve never felt this way about anyone before  
(10:29 PM) Much less Rhett  
(10:30 PM) Who was the reason for my gay panic until I realized I was bi

 

(10:33 PM) Have you talked to him about this?

 

(10:34 PM) I just don’t know how  
(10:35 PM) Help me Lyon

 

(10:36 PM) Talk to him the way you just did to me

 

(10:37 PM) But what if I messed up for real?

 

(10:38 PM) Luke

 

(10:38 PM) I know

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Hina the Superstar**

 

(10:30 PM) So I just had my soap opera moment

 

(10:40 PM) What?

 

(10:41 PM) Oh hey you replied  
(10:41 PM) There was drama happening between Rhett and Luke  
(10:41 PM) Not sure if they will make up

 

(10:42 PM) What happened?

 

(10:42 PM) It’s sorta like  
(10:43 PM) Hm  
(10:45 PM) Rhett and Luke were apparently dating ALL THIS TIME  
(10:45 PM) For a few months anyway  
(10:46 PM) And Rhett recently told Luke he loved him  
(10:46 PM) But Luke didn’t respond back cause he panicked and was scared of his feelings  
(10:47 PM) So now Rhett is sorta mad and sorta heartbroken but kept up face for us  
(10:47 PM) And Luke is panicking and wondering if he ruined a good thing  
(10:48 PM) Cause apparently Rhett was the reason he realized he was bi?????  
(10:48 PM) Anyway it’s all messed up and I hope they resolve this the best they can

 

(10:50 PM) That sounds bad. I wish them the best

 

(10:51 PM) Yeah it’s just Luke being sorta silly but I can relate somewhat  
(10:52 PM) I once panicked when someone confessed to me  
(10:53 PM) And I ended up swearing at her and spilled coffee on her  
(10:53 PM) Didn’t work out

 

(10:54 PM) Awwww  
(10:54 PM) Unfortunately, I don’t really have any stories like that

 

(10:55 PM) Oh awesome  
(10:55 PM) It seems they’ve resolved it now  
(10:56 PM) They just posted in chatroom  
(10:56 PM) EVERYTHING IS OK AGAIN

 

(10:57 PM) That’s good! I’m glad they made up

 

(10:58 PM) Thanks for listening to me ramble and whatnot

 

(10:58 PM) No problem. I do this with my friends too. You won’t believe some of the shit they get into sometimes

 

(10:59 PM) I sense good stories

 

(10:59 PM) Maybe I’ll tell you when I think of some that won't incriminate me and make you think badly of my friends

 

(11:00 PM) BUT THOSE ARE THE BEST ONES

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i vote that we don’t hide shit from each other again  
\- IN CASE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS  
\- KAAAAAAAAAAAAAY??????

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** it wasn’t my idea!!!

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Excuse me. I believe it was you who wanted to not tell them because you didn’t want to know what Chell’s reaction would be.

 

 **Ship All The Things:** wtf luke  
\- excuse you  
\- just because i ‘ship all the things’ doesn’t mean i can’t be a mature person gosh

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** orly

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ….okay, truth be told  
\- i squealed over the fact that you two are together  
\- but only cause i’m really happy two of my friends are happy together  
\- also you two are hot so yay  
\- you can’t judge me

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** i am judging  
\- so hard right now

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ew i didn’t need to know that  
\- save that for the bedroom pls

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** CHELL YOU PERV  
\- THIS WAS WHY I DIDN’T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf chell pls my virgin eyes

 

 **Ship All The Things:** what  
\- i’m just sayiiiiiing

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i didn’t need to see that ever  
\- chell please

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Is that all?  
\- Chell, I assumed you could do better innuendos than that.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** PLS DON’T ENCOURAGE CHELL RHETT OMG  
\- WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Please.  
\- You like it.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** RHETT NO

 

 **Ship All The Things:** IASNFASKFBALKSJFBALFKAB  
\- SKJFNSKJBFAKBAF;  
\- ASJFASJKFBASLBA

 

 **Rhett and Link:** So, you’re saying you don’t like it?

 

 **Ship All The Things:** AOSKNFDALSJFAS  
\- AISFHNALSKFHABSL

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Because I distinctly remember a conversation a while ago...

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** that’s  
\- ask;fnaslkf  
\- RHETT JUST STOP  
\- YOU’RE NOT HELPING

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yes  
\- pls stahp  
\- my virgin eyes  
\- take this flirting somewhere else  
\- away from me  
\- cause i don’t need this shit  
\- i regret that you two came out to us  
\- if i have to hear this now

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ASJKFASLJFABSLFAB  
\- AJKFNALSKJFASFKLAHSNFLKHBGDSLKFJASFAGSLF

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i think you broke chell  
\- rhett, please fix her

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I deny any responsibility.  
\- Also, Luke, you didn’t answer my question, so I’ll just assume that you do like it.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** RHETT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT  
\- YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS  
\- STOP INSINUATING THINGS

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I refuse.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** RHETT

 

 **Rhett and Link:** Yes, please keep screaming my name some more.

 

 **HearMeRoar:** omg lord why  
\- i didn't even know rhett was like this wtf

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** IS THERE ANY FUCKING WAY TO JUST NOPE OUTTA HERE???????  
\- CAUSE IT'S GETTING TOO MUCH  
\- LUKE PLS GO GET A ROOM WITH RHETT

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** AHFDAKLHFALFKAL

 

 **HearMeRoar:** and now he has descended into keyboard smashing hell with chell

 

 **Ship All The Things:** ASHFNASLKFHASLFA  
\- AJKNALKJSFBALB  
\- JKAFNA;LDJANFKABFAHFAKHFNAKLB  
\- ok, i’m good  
\- i have let it all out  
\- i’m going to go read some fanfics now bye

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** if she suddenly starts writing fanfic about us  
\- i’m blaming you rhett

 

 **Rhett and Link:** You’re assuming she didn’t before.  
\- Or did you forget those drabbles she posted on her tumblr?

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** ...those were fanfics

 

 **Rhett and Link:** And yet the situations were oddly familiar…

 

 **HearMeRoar:** ...huh  
\- i never noticed that before

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i am really fucking glad i don’t use tumblr that often  
\- cause now i can’t FUCKING UNSEE  
\- also wtf lyon you read her writing?

 

 **HearMeRoar:** it appears on my dash  
\- and they’re not that bad  
\- she does requests too  
\- and most of them are cute  
\- ...and if she’s basing the interactions on us...

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** ok can we MOVE ON FROM THIS TOPIC NOW  
\- PLS  
\- I DON’T CARE WHAT AS LONG AS WE’RE NOT DISCUSSING RHETT AND MY RELATIONSHIP

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ok then can i talk about how I’M GOING TO BE LEFT ALONE AGAIN CAUSE HINA IS LEAVING SOON???????  
\- AND YOU GUYS DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO ME CAUSE OF WORK???????  
\- OR IN CHELL’S CASE  
\- FANFICS???

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** sure go on and gush about your girlfriend

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf no she’s not my girlfriend

 

 **HearMeRoar:** perc, you definitely like her  
\- trust me  
\- i remember how you are when you like someone

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ok i’ll admit that she’s pretty cool  
\- but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here

 

 **Rhett and Link:** You have a crush on her.

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** and you know the rule perc  
\- rhett is always right

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ………  
\- OK WELL I MIGHT BUT IT’S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN ANYWAY

 

 **HearMeRoar:** you don’t know that

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** yeah she might like you back  
\- i mean  
\- she didn’t mind you messaging her after the wrong number thing right???  
\- you two kept up the texts even though it would have been easy to just let it end

 

 **HearMeRoar:** yeah  
\- and you two play together  
\- and i’m sure she appreciates that you treat her like a normal person

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** well i’m pretty sure someone like her probably has a boyfriend already  
\- so let’s drop this

 

 **Rhett and Link:** I would like to reserve the right to say “I told you so” when the moment comes, please.

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** sure rhett suuuuuuuuuuure  
\- MAYBE THIS IS JUST AN INFATUATION AND WILL FADE IN A FEW WEEKS

 

 **I Did Nothing Wrong:** then you got nothing to worry about!

 

 **HearMeRoar:** i would like to join Rhett for reserving the right to say i told you so

  
**SirPervicalFTW:** HAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...right, so first of all, this chapter got away from me when I was writing it. I usually just have a brief outline of what I want to happen in a chapter that would move the story along, and I make up the details as I go. I really didn't intend for Rhett and Luke to be together, but that was what happened so...yeah. I tried to roll with it.
> 
> Also, I have so much fun writing out the antics of Percy and his friends that sometimes I forget that this is a story of him and Morgan getting together. Oops.


	4. Interlude One: The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy isn't the only one with friends who drive him crazy. Hina has them as well.

**GROUP CHAT -- Tenmei, Bruce Banner, MemeLord 1000, Red Ranger**

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** hina has new friends to play with now  
\- how could she  
\- after everything we’ve gone through  
\- all these years of being friends  
\- all those conventions together  
\- all those parties  
\- all those games  
\- oh the humanity  
\- won’t someone think of the children?

 

 **Bruce Banner:** what  
\- hina, why?

 

 **Tenmei:** What  
\- Did you really have to type that essay?  
\- So dramatic, gosh

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** yes  
\- cause you’ve abandoned us  
\- for your new friend who has an awesome name  
\- unlike mine which is boring as fuck

 

 **Tenmei:** ...I asked you guys if you wanted to play League, but you all declined  
\- Technically speaking, you all abandoned me

 

 **Bruce Banner:** oooooh, she’s got a point there  
\- justin, do you have a rebuttal?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** yes i do  
\- ahem  
\- [middle finger emoji]

 

 **Bruce Banner:** that is a powerful rebuttal there  
\- what will you do, hina?

 

 **Tenmei:** …  
\- I refuse to participate in this

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** SO NOW YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR US????  
\- IS THAT IT???

 

 **Bruce Banner:** oooooh  
\- and what does the defendant say in response to this accusation?

 

 **Tenmei:** Oh my god, I was going to buy you guys souvenirs but I think I won’t now

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** …  
\- i’ll be good

 

 **Bruce Banner:** hey, i am a mere innocent bystander

 

 **Tenmei:** Of course you are, Bruce…  
\- In other news, Percy finally found out who I am  
\- Because someone posted my newest highlight video on the League subreddit  
\- Which contained the games I played with him and his friends  
\- So... yeah

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** lolol  
\- that’s such a lame way to find out  
\- he didn’t even work for it

 

 **Tenmei:** Well, he did do all that googling at first…

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** shhhhh  
\- HE  
\- DID  
\- NOTHING

 

 **Tenmei:** Okay, Justin  
\- Whatever you say

 

 **Bruce Banner:** oh, i haven’t watched that video yet  
\- brb

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** here i’ll post link for you  
\- [website URL]

 

 **Bruce Banner:** thanks, bro

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** no prob bro

 

 **Bruce Banner:** hey, bro?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** what is it bro

 

 **Bruce Banner:** you’re the best bro ever, bro

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** bro…

 

 **Tenmei:** ...should I leave you two alone?  
\- While you’re having this bro-ment?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** bro…

 

 **Bruce Banner:** that was beautiful, bro

 

 **Tenmei:** Oh my god, please kill me

 

 **Red Ranger:** are you two tormenting hina again?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** NO DEFINITELY NOT

 

 **Bruce Banner:** we don’t even know how to torment her!

 

 **Red Ranger:** shocking how i don't believe you at all  
\- how long before your flight, hina?

 

 **Tenmei:** It leaves in four hours  
\- I have to go now because traffic  
\- I'll be on my phone!

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** nooooooooooooo  
\- i’ll miss you when you're in china  
\- i mean i already miss you  
\- since i haven't seen you in roughly three months  
\- but now you'll be even farther

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i still can’t believe you got the role of mulan for the live action  
\- you’re going to be playing my favorite disney princess

 

 **Tenmei:** I know!  
\- I’m so happy

 

 **Red Ranger:** you’re still planning to stop by san francisco before you head back down to LA, right?

 

 **Tenmei:** Yup! I planned it out and I can hang out in San Francisco for a week

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS  
\- party at bruce’s place!!!!

 

 **Bruce Banner:** what?  
\- why mine?  
\- we normally go to akaya’s cause his place is bigger

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** we’re banned from partying at his place now remember?  
\- that killjoy

 

 **Red Ranger:** excuse me, but last time we had a party at my place, someone had sex in the spare bedroom  
\- remember, JUSTIN?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** ok look it was only one time  
\- and it really wasn't my fault  
\- you know i was crushing hard on daniel  
\- and when your crush slams you against the wall  
\- and starts making out with you  
\- you tend to forget that you're in your friend’s house  
\- and probably shouldn’t go any further than making out  
\- also the blood that should have been going to my brain went somewhere else instead  
\- he had his hand down my pants dammit

 

 **Bruce Banner:** tmi tmi  
\- i’m still forever scarred by that sight  
\- at least you eventually went in a room instead of continuing in the hall

 

 **Red Ranger:** i had to buy new sheets because of what they did in there  
\- i still can't look at that room without wanting to disinfect everything

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** I PAID FOR THEM DIDN'T I???

 

 **Red Ranger:** i’m still allowed to hold this over you

 

 **Tenmei:** I have to agree with Akaya  
\- You DID defile his room  
\- And I was supposed to have slept there  
\- Instead, I got the couch  
\- Even if it was a comfy couch, it was still a couch

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT TOO OMG  
\- THIS WAS HALF A YEAR AGO GUYS PLS  
\- IT ISN’T LIKE I WAS INTENTIONALLY HAVING SEX AT AKAYA’S HOUSE FOR FUN  
\- STOP BEATING ON THIS DEAD HORSE

 

 **Bruce Banner:** yeah, guys, stop beating on justin  
\- that's daniel’s job

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** omg bruce  
\- was that supposed to be a handjob joke

 

 **Bruce Banner:** a very bad one, but yes

 

 **Red Ranger:** goddammit  
\- i need brain bleach again

 

 **Tenmei:** [picture attachment]  
\- BUNNIES

 

 **Red Ranger:** thank you  
\- they’re adorable

 

 **Tenmei:** Yay!

 

 **Bruce Banner:** so, hina  
\- you in traffic?

 

 **Tenmei:** Yes  
\- You're my only source of entertainment right now  
\- Can’t play my game apps because they use up too much battery life

 

 **Bruce Banner:** hina, don’t you have a portable charger?

 

 **Tenmei:** Shhhhhh  
\- I accidentally packed it in one of my suitcases, so I need to grab that later

 

 **Bruce Banner:** hina, you derp

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** WHY DON’T YOU ASK YOUR NEW FRIENDS TO ENTERTAIN YOU

 

 **Tenmei:** Justin, bitterness does not suit you

 

 **Bruce Banner:** are you sure?  
\- i mean, this is justin

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** wtf bro  
\- i thought we had something special

 

 **Bruce Banner:** oh, justin  
\- if only you had someone who loved you

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** DID YOU FUCKING QUOTE FROZEN AT ME BRUCE OMG

 

 **Bruce Banner:** yes, anna

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** [middle finger emoji]

 

 **Tenmei:** Uragiri wa justin no namae o shitteiru

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** what the fuck hina are you even saying  
\- literally all i understood was name

 

 **Red Ranger:** ...what about your own name?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** i figured that was given  
\- translate pls you two nihonjin

 

 **Red Ranger:** no

 

 **Tenmei:** This is why we were telling you to learn Japanese  
\- But you decided to go for Mandarin instead

 

 **Bruce Banner:** what a scrub  
\- not animu enough for us  
\- had to go and learn the tongue of his country  
\- then came back a communist

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** EXCUSE YOU  
\- I AM NOT A MAINLANDER  
\- I AM PROUD HONG KONG-ESE  
\- WE SPEAK CANTONESE  
\- AND ARE NOT COMMUNISTS

 

 **Bruce Banner:** true true  
\- hina is the mainlander here  
\- well half at least

 

 **Tenmei:** Hai

 

 **Bruce Banner:** but this just means we can talk shit about you in japanese

 

 **Tenmei:** Sou sou

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** is it suddenly pick on justin day or something???

 

 **Red Ranger:** i thought that was everyday

 

 **Bruce Banner:** pffffffffffft

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** why am i friends with you guys

 

 **Red Ranger:** because no one else would be able to deal with you

 

 **Tenmei:** Well, I mean, there IS Daniel…

 

 **Red Ranger:** no, he doesn't count  
\- daniel is his boyfriend  
\- he's clearly not of right mind

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** WOW  
\- i’m just going to go cuddle with my boyfriend then

 

 **Bruce Banner:** say hi for us

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** NO  
\- oh btw  
\- we still hanging out tomorrow right?

 

 **Tenmei:** Urgh, I can't believe you're trying the new dessert place without me  
\- You know how much I love sweets

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** hush  
\- you can have dessert in china  
\- i know there are plenty there  
\- LATE NIGHT DESSERTS TOO  
\- AT 2AM  
\- !!!!!

 

 **Tenmei:** I am fairly sure I’ll be too tired from filming to even go out that late

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** not with that attitude

 

 **Tenmei:** If I ever win an award, I'm not including you in my acceptance speech

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** RUDE  
\- I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING

 

 **Bruce Banner:** remember to take pics of everything!

 

 **Red Ranger:** be careful not to get robbed

 

 **Bruce Banner:** bro  
\- that's not a nice thing to say to hina

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** yeah bro  
\- you gotta say positive and encouraging things

 

 **Red Ranger:** i’m being realistic  
\- you should always be careful not to get robbed

 

 **Bruce Banner:** come on, bro

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** yeah bro

 

 **Tenmei:** Guys, I've been to China before  
\- I'll be fine  
\- Anyway, finally passed traffic and have arrived at LAX!

 

 **Red Ranger:** hope you get through security okay

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** bro it’s tsa  
\- she gonna be there for HOURS  
\- she gonna die there  
\- pray for her

 

 **Tenmei:** Please, I have traveled millions of times  
\- I am a pro at this

 

 **Bruce Banner:** in that case, have fun!

 

 **Tenmei:** There is nothing fun about waiting in lines!  
\- Have to wait in line for baggage check-in ugh

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i thought you were a pro at this

 

 **Tenmei:** Just because I’m a pro, doesn’t mean I like waiting in line

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** line queueing simulator  
\- that has to be a thing  
\- i mean there was a goat simulator for god’s sake  
\- AND A TRUCK DRIVING ONE  
\- AND THAT VR JOB SIMULATOR SHIT  
\- LIKE WTF SO MANY

 

 **Bruce Banner:** if it isn’t  
\- i’m making it  
\- TIME TO DUST OFF MY COMPUTER SCIENCE DEGREE  
\- i knew i would use it one day

 

 **Red Ranger:** you literally graduated two years ago

 

 **Bruce Banner:** AND I HAVE YET TO USE ANY OF IT ONCE

 

 **Red Ranger:** ...somehow i doubt that  
\- considering what you do as a living

 

 **Bruce Banner:** SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** remember to credit me bro  
\- i want my name out there

 

 **Tenmei:** I want to have my name for the “inspired by” part

 

 **Red Ranger:** i want nothing about me to be in this game

 

 **Bruce Banner:** why so serious, akaya  
\- maybe we need to throw you a party…?

 

 **Red Ranger:** NO  
\- PARTIES

 

 **Bruce Banner:** never said it had to be at your place!

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** WOOT MORE PARTIES AT BRUCE’S

 

 **Tenmei:** Great, you guys plan a party when I’m not there to enjoy the drunken antics of you three

 

 **Bruce Banner:** what do you think the party’s for?

 

 **Tenmei:** So mean  
\- I demand that Daniel record everything for me  
\- Because I know he’s going to be there

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** what if we get down and dirty???

 

 **Tenmei:** Then I get blackmail

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i forget how cruel hina can get lololol

 

 **Red Ranger:** i’m staying sober  
\- especially considering last time  
\- alcohol is a dangerous thing if it made me think that was a good idea

 

 **Bruce Banner:** but that was the best part of the party!  
\- other than what led to justin’s sprained ankle  
\- which was a sad outcome but still awesome

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** never forget  
\- don’t repeat my mistakes

 

 **Red Ranger:** ...i wish we can forget  
\- hina, you deleted everything right?

 

 **Tenmei:** Can’t talk now, it’s my turn to check in luggage!

 

 **Bruce Banner:** ...WELL THEN

 

 **Red Ranger:** goddammit, hina  
\- she always does this

 

 **Bruce Banner:** akaya  
\- you’re so screwed

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** you’ll have to do her bidding forever

 

 **Bruce Banner:** bro, he technically already does

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** oh you’re right bro  
\- you’re so whipped akaya

 

 **Red Ranger:** SEX  
\- IN MY SPARE BEDROOM  
\- JUSTIN  
\- THE MESS  
\- THE CLEANING  
\- THE REPLACING  
\- THE MESS  
\- MY  
\- SPARE  
\- BEDROOM

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** STOP BRINGING THAT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

 

 **Red Ranger:** THEN DON’T CALL ME WHIPPED

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** BUT YOU AREEEEEEEEEEE

 

 **Bruce Banner:** LOLOLOLOL

 

 **Red Ranger:** being nice to my ex doesn’t mean I’M WHIPPED, JUSTIN  
\- also  
\- i’m pretty sure my sex life was better than yours at the time  
\- considering all you had was your hand  
\- and i had hina who did everything from figure skating to tennis

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** daaaaaaaaamn bro

 

 **Bruce Banner:** OH SNAP

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** that hurt  
\- bro how could you

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i think akaya wins this fight

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** i didn’t think he would go there  
\- holy shit  
\- ...what would hina say when she finds out that you just outed the fact you two used to have kinky sex

 

 **Red Ranger:** ...fuck  
\- i shouldn't have said that

 

 **Bruce Banner:** well it’s not like we don't know about your sex life already  
\- we've walked in on you two before

 

 **Red Ranger:** please don’t remind me of that  
\- justin was insufferable

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i think hina was one step away from killing him  
\- which is saying something  
\- since she's usually keeping you from doing the killing

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** hey i saw akaya’s fine ass  
\- that was great  
\- best day ever

 

 **Red Ranger:** bruce  
\- smack him for me  
\- i know he’s over at your place right now

 

 **Bruce Banner:** just did it, sir

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** I FEEL SO UNAPPRECIATED  
\- WTF BRUCE JUST THREW A PILLOW AT ME

 

 **Bruce Banner:** your whining and dramatics are ruining my apartment’s vibe, bro

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** BRUH

 

 **Tenmei:** I leave for TWENTY MINUTES  
\- What in the world is going on and how could you do that, Akaya?  
\- Do I need to withhold souvenirs?

 

 **Red Ranger:** um, it slipped out before i fully realized what i would be saying

 

 **Bruce Banner:** NOT THE SOUVENIRS!!!!

 

 **Tenmei:** 赤夜、死んでください

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** OH DAMN SHE BROKE OUT THE ACTUAL JAPANESE

 

 **Red Ranger:** ひな、水に流してください

 

 **Tenmei:** I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN YOU EITHER, JUSTIN

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** HEY I'M INNOCENT

 

 **Tenmei:** OK、アメリカ 帰った時、買い物しよう?  
\- 分かった?

 

 **Red Ranger:** あぁ、分かった

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** STOP HAVING SECRET CONVERSATIONS  
\- WE GET IT  
\- YOU TWO ARE JAPANESE

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i understand them

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** shut up bruce i didn’t ask you

 

 **Bruce Banner:** meanie  
\- anyway, so, uh, hina  
\- you noticed that i had nothing to do with their silly feud right???  
\- so i still get souvenirs, right?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** OH WOW  
\- WAY TO THROW US UNDER THE BUS LIKE THAT BRUCE

 

 **Bruce Banner:** hey, if there were zombies chasing us  
\- i would trip you so that i will survive  
\- i would tell your story and spread your name

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** jfc i see how it is  
\- you're not longer my bro

 

 **Bruce Banner:** how could you, bro?

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** I HAVE NO BRO ANYMORE

 

 **Bruce Banner:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
\- I'M BRO-LESS

 

 **Tenmei:** That’s it  
\- No souvenirs for ANYONE

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 **Bruce Banner:** SO BRUTAL, HINA

 

 **Red Ranger:** ...are you still getting me the snacks you promised though?  
\- those don’t count as souvenirs, right?

 

 **Tenmei:** Yes, Akaya  
\- You know I can’t refuse you either

 

 **Bruce Banner:** d’awwww  
\- so cute  
\- it’s like high school all over again

 

 **Red Ranger:** you barely knew us in high school  
\- you were like, a tiny freshman when i was a senior

 

 **Bruce Banner:** i can pretend!

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** bruce just wiped away a tear  
\- someone save me

 

 **Tenmei:** Only if you save me from the TSA

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** deal  
\- ...i don’t know how i’ll do it but I WILL DO IT FOR YOU

 

 **Tenmei:** I feel so special

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** you should

 

 **Bruce Banner:** ok, i’m going to go and save justin’s butt in league now  
\- cause he can’t carry for shit

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** WAY TO EXPOSE ME

 

 **Tenmei:** But we already know you can’t carry  
\- My back is broken from all those times I used to duo queue with you in order to get you into diamond

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** ...wow i just got dragged, quartered, then burned by hina the ex pro  
\- so fucking brutal  
\- at least leave some of my pride intact pls

 

 **Tenmei:** No, I operate on a scorched earth policy

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** SO CRUEL SOB  
\- MY PRIDE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

 

 **Bruce Banner:** ...wanna join, akaya?  
\- my back will be broken too if i have to do this myself

 

 **MemeLord 1000:** I DON’T DESERVE TO BE INSULTED LIKE THIS  
\- ...even if it might be true…

 

 **Bruce Banner:** HAH

 

 **Red Ranger:** give me a second and i’ll sign on  
\- we’ll talk to you later, hina

 

 **Tenmei:** Have fun! I’ll just be here waiting in lines  
\- [photo attachment]

  
**Bruce Banner:** we love you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JAPANESE TRANSLATIONS: 
> 
> Uragiri wa justin no namae o shitteiru: (The) betrayal knows Justin's name  
> \--this was a play on a manga titled "Uragiri wa boku no namae o shitteriru"
> 
> 赤夜、死んでください: Akaya, please die  
> \--those two characters in the beginning are how you would officially write his name in Japanese; there are many variations, of course, but this is how to write this Akaya's name
> 
> ひな、水に流してください: Hina, please forgive and forget/let bygones be bygones  
> \--Hina's name is officially written as 姫夏 (literally "princess" and "summer") in Japanese, but unlike Hina, Akaya is lazy so he wrote it in hiragana instead  
> \--the expression I used for "please forgive and forget" literally means "please wash away the water". Yeah, Japanese can be...
> 
> アメリカ 帰った時、買い物しよう: When I return to America, we're going shopping  
> \--the kanji I used for "return" has the connotation of "returning home"
> 
> 分かった?: Got it?  
> \--literally means "understood?" which is written/said in casual form
> 
> あぁ、分かった: Aah, got it
> 
> And that's my Japanese lesson for this chapter. Whew. Don't worry, I won't have any more foreign languages in this story...I think.
> 
> Anyway, I've been so busy with the end of the school semester (just one more final left) that I forgot to update this story. I am so sorry, to the few readers I have. 
> 
> So here's an interlude where you guys see Hina's side of things. There will be more interludes where you see Hina's POV of some of the things happening. They might not seem relevant, but they offer some background and insight to Hina's life and can help you understand her better.


	5. Tumblr Antics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy rediscovers Tumblr, freaks out over Hina (again), and gets picked on by his friends (again).

**tenmei** started following you

 

\--

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ Hello, now I am the stalker _

wtf is this?????

hina?????

how did you even find me????????

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ Lyon told me a while ago, although I should have guessed your tumblr was the same as your other accounts… _

that filthy traitor

why are you messaging me here?????

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ I finally had some free time, and I figured I would randomly send you a message here since you didn’t use tumblr that often. I didn’t think you would be on right now. What are you up to? _

boooooooooreeeeeeeeddddddddd

which is the only reason i’m here on tumblr. how much longer until you’re back????

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ Well, I have another week of filming before returning to the states, but I’ll be spending time with my friends in San Francisco before going back to LA _

oh how long will you be in sf?

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ A week! From Thursday until the following one, then I leave Friday afternoon-ish. I can’t wait, honestly. It has been a few months since I last saw them _

well i live near sf so do you want to meet up and hang out?

you can meet the others too if you want

[answer privately]  **_saved as draft_ **

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** I HAVE AN EMERGENCY

 

**HearMeRoar:** oh god what now

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** LYON  
\- WHAT HAVE WE SAID MANY TIMES ALREADY  
\- ?????

 

**Ship All The Things:** NEVER ASK THAT QUESTION, LYON  
\- ESPECIALLY IF IT'S TO PERCY   
\- YOU SWEET BOY  
\- WHY DON’T YOU LEARN

 

**HearMeRoar:** ...i am literally two years older than you, chell

 

**Ship All The Things:** shhhhhhh  
\- you are a child  
\- except for when you’re dad

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** DO YOU GUYS EVEN CARE???????

 

**Ship All The Things:** no

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** SHUT UP CHELL NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU

 

**Ship All The Things:** WHOA THERE BISH

 

**HearMeRoar:** NO, DON’T START

 

**Ship All The Things:** fine, fineeeeeeeeeeee  
\- only because you said so

 

**Rhett and Link:** What is it, Percy?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** HINA IS COMING TO SF IN A WEEK  
\- AND SHE’S GONNA BE HANGING OUT WITH HER FRIENDS  
\- AND I DUNNO IF I SHOULD ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH US

 

**Ship All The Things:** where did this ‘us’ come from  
\- we all know you want to ask her out on a date

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** CHELL NO

 

**HearMeRoar:** just ask her if she wants to hang out  
\- personally, i wouldn’t mind coming along

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** yeah me either

 

**Ship All The Things:** GUYS NO  
\- THEY NEED TO HANG OUT   
\- JUST THE TWO OF THEM  
\- OR WE CAN GO AND THEN DITCH THEM MIDWAY THROUGH  
\- THEN THEY WILL REALIZE THEIR LOVE  
\- AND KISS

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** too many fanfics chell

 

**Ship All The Things:** i will make you draw me gay smut again

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ….pls no

 

**Rhett and Link:** I don’t understand how you can be fine having gay sex, yet you’re so averse to drawing it.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...i really didn’t need to hear about luke having gay sex

 

**Ship All The Things:** technically, it’s both luke and rhett  
\- since they’re together, remember?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** fuck   
\- yeah i need more brain bleach pls

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ANYWAY back to rhett’s comment  
\- it has nothing to do with the act itself  
\- IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE TO DRAW CHELL’S OTPS THAT’S MAKING ME GO URGH  
\- cause some of the things she wants…

 

**Ship All The Things:** excuse you  
\- i actually ask you to draw some tame shit

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** you kinky ass perv

 

**Ship All The Things:** DON'T YOU DARE KINKSHAME ME  
\- REMEMBER YOUR SIDE TUMBLR

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** SHUT UP CHELL  
\- YOU KNOW YOU ARE A KINKY PERV  
\- although i’ll admit that it’s primarily weird to draw for chell  
\- cause i have to use personal experience as reference sometimes…

 

**Rhett and Link:** ...oh.

 

**Ship All The Things:** oh  
\- OH MY LORD JESUS BUT THE THINGS I ASK YOU  
\- AKSFBASJFABSFBASFKASBJFKAJSBF

 

**HearMeRoar:** WE ARE SWITCHING TOPICS BEFORE CHELL BREAKS FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS MONTH  
\- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, I HOPE YOU KNOW THIS

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** IT’S NOT MY FAULT SHE’S A YAOI FANGIRL

 

**HearMeRoar:** YOU KEEP GIVING HER AMMO

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** YEAH UH GUYS   
\- CAN WE GET BACK TO MY PROBLEM HERE??????

 

**Rhett and Link:** Invite her out. We can come along too, if you need moral support that much.   
\- Just remember to pick a day we’re all free.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ok i’ll go and ask now  
\- friday is a good day right????

 

**Rhett and Link:** Yes, I’m usually off then.

 

**HearMeRoar:** fine with me!

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** i’m good too  
\- since i’m not teaching swimming classes anymore  
\- and i have it off for work too  
\- and it’ll only be the second week of school so i’ll be okay

 

**Ship All The Things:** and you know i’m free always!!!  
\- cause classes aren’t that hard right now  
\- and i gots no homework really

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** thanks guys  
\- i’m going back to tumblr now btw

 

\--

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ A week! From Thursday until the following one, then I leave Friday afternoon-ish. I can’t wait, honestly. It has been a few months since I last saw them _

well i live near sf so do you want to meet up and hang out? 

you can meet the others too if you want

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ Oh, sure! It completely slipped my mind that you guys lived in NorCal too. Do you have a day in mind? My friends and I were just going to wing it like we always do when I come back _

uh is first friday you’re back good for you?

**[answer privately]**

 

**_tenmei asked_ ** _ That works for me! Can’t wait to finally meet you guys _

yeah me too

**[answer privately]** [publish]

 

\--

 

**fluent-in-fangirlese** started following you

 

**heremeroar** started following you

 

**paint-in-my-veins** started following you

 

\--

 

**sirpercivalftw**

 

wtf when did my BEST FRIENDS UNFOLLOW ME ON THIS SITE

 

THE BETRAYAL

 

IT HURTS

 

_ #where the fuck is rhett btw _

 

**fluent-in-fangirlese** liked this

**paint-in-my-veins** liked this 

 

\--

 

**im-not-welsh** started following you

 

\--

 

**sirpercivalftw**

 

[screenshot]

 

i forgot how bad your tumblr name was 

 

like why

 

_ #also why tf am i posting here #instead of on discord #wtf #i blame chell #just cause i can _

 

**paint-in-my-veins** liked this

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**   
  


**Ship All The Things:** HEY  
\- HOW IS THAT MY FAULT

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** DON’T QUESTION ME

 

**Ship All The Things:** I’LL DO WHAT I WANT, NOT-DAD

 

**Rhett and Link:** It’s because my name is of Welsh origin, and I’m not Welsh.  
\- It’s rather self-explanatory, Percy.  
\- I cannot dumb it down any further.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** stfu rhett  
\- so rude  
\- also wtf chell

 

**Ship All The Things:** what  
\- i can’t call you dad  
\- that’s lyon!!!!

 

**HearMeRoar:** how are you talking to hina right now, perc

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** I THOUGHT YOU WOULD KNOW  
\- SINCE YOU GAVE HER MY TUMBLR

 

**HearMeRoar:** ooooooooh wow that was a long while ago though  
\- wait, the firewall allows tumblr?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** i guess so????

 

**Ship All The Things:** WAIT WAIT  
\- SHE HAS A TUMBLR  
\- I WANT  
\- GIMME

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** [website URL]  
\- here  
\- go be a stalker

 

**Ship All The Thing:** again  
\- pot, kettle

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** FUCK YOU CHELL

 

**HearMeRoar:** language

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** what a dad  
\- a true dad  
\- ...i just realized that i really can’t call rhett daddy or else chell might go crazy

 

**Rhett and Link:** How unfortunate.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...it’s bad that i can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not  
\- my image of rhett has been shattered  
\- go back to being a bastard dammit

 

**HearMeRoar:** DO I NEED TO KINKSHAME?!

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** NO DAD  
\- THERE IS NO NEED FOR KINKSHAMING TODAY

 

**HearMeRoar:** GOOD  
\- cause i’m trying to eat my lunch here  
\- and i want to be able to finish it

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** wait  
\- you were messaging hina for a while earlier   
\- but time zones  
\- it’s 3pm here  
\- what time is it in china?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...shit  
\- that's a good point

 

**Rhett and Link:** Google says it’s 6am there.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...wtf

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** how  
\- WHEN DID SHE WAKE UP?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** SHE MESSAGED ME AN HOUR EARLIER  
\- WHY HOW WHYYYYYY  
\- AND SHE'S NOT A MORNING PERSON AT ALL  
\- WHY WAS SHE UP AT 5AM?!?!?!?!

 

**HearMeRoar:** maybe she didn't sleep at all  
\- or maybe she's more of a morning person   
\- if she wakes up on her own  
\- and hasn't been texted awake

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...i sense something there that i feel is insulting to me  
\- but i can't put my finger on it…

 

**HearMeRoar:** nothing insulting  
\- just stating the truth  
\- cause you can't deny that you have woken her up multiple times

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ...i neither confirm or deny

 

**Ship All The Things:** guys  
\- i was going through her tumblr  
\- and i think i’m in love  
\- i’m stealing her from you, percy  
\- sorry not sorry

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** wtf chell

 

**Ship All The Things:** i can read between the lines  
\- from what she reblogs  
\- and we got some otps in common boi

 

**HearMeRoar:** chell no  
\- bad child  
\- don’t steal girlfriends from your brother

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** WTF LYON  
\- I THOUGHT YOU WEREN’T GOING TO GO ALONG WITH THAT WHOLE THING  
\- not that i’m complaining  
\- BUT WHUT

 

**Ship All The Things:** but daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad  
\- she’s my soulmateeeeeeeeeeeee

 

**HearMeRoar:** clearly you guys weren’t going to let up on this  
\- so i’m embracing it now  
\- i shall be dad  
\- so no, chell  
\- don’t be a jerk to your brother

 

**Ship All The Things:** fiiiiiiiiiiiiine  
\- you’re lucky dad’s on your side, percy

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** suck on it bish

 

**Ship All The Things:** no thank you

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** i am so confused right now  
\- i think i’m going to go get some boba   
\- to celebrate my last day of freedom before davis starts in a few days

 

**Ship All The Things:** oooooooh  
\- i want some toooooooooo  
\- daaaaaaaaaaaaaad

 

**HearMeRoar:** i am here and being bored  
\- so feel free to come bother me if you want

 

**Ship All The Things:** YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** DISCOUNTED BOBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** WAIT I WANNA JOIN TOO  
\- i was gonna get super duper downtown

 

**Ship All The Things:** omg percy  
\- get me some too pls

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** no you tried to steal hina from me

 

**Ship All The Things:** omg percy pls  
\- i backed off  
\- now get me some cheeseburgers and garlic fries pls

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** too bad rhett can’t join

 

**Rhett and Link:** Ah, the woes of having a steady job where I’m making money.

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** douche

 

**Rhett and Link:** I'm helping you move some things into the apartment. I might change my mind.

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ...thanks oh wonderful boyfriend of mine  
\- i bow before your kindness

 

**Ship All The Things:** pls foreplay later  
\- pick me up pls percy or luke kthx

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** NOPE SORRY GOING THE OTHER WAY

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** i really don’t want to find parking downtown uuuuuugh  
\- also wtf chell foreplay no  
\- you deserve to take the bus

 

**Ship All The Things:** PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
\- I DON’T WANT TO SPEND MONEY ON FARE

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** uuuuurgh you owe me

 

**Ship All The Things:** you’re the best  
\- i promise not to threaten you with gay smut for a while

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ….wow  
\- such worth  
\- i'm holding you to that

 

**Ship All The Things:** get here in the next thirty minutes then  
\- or the offer expires

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ...i change my mind  
\- you can bus instead

 

**Ship All The Things:** NO LUKE PLS

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** YOU LIVE IN RICHMOND   
\- AND I LIVE IN SUNSET  
\- THERE’S NO WAY I CAN MAKE THAT IN THIRTY MINUTES AT THIS TIME OF DAY

 

**Ship All The Things:** LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
\- PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** BUSY DRIVING NOW BYE

 

**Ship All The Things:** …  
\- wow

 

**HearMeRoar:** i guess this is karma, chell

 

**Ship All Things:** well, i do have my bike…  
\- guess i can do some exercise too

 

**Rhett and Link:** Luke is coming to get you, Chell.  
\- He’s too nice not to.

 

**Ship All The Things:** !!!!!!  
\- omg really???  
\- i love him

 

**HearMeRoar:** lolol

 

**Ship All The Things:** I’M NOT GOING TO STEAL HIM FROM YOU THOUGH, RHETT  
\- SO DON’T WORRY

 

**Rhett and Link:** I am not worried. 

 

**HearMeRoar:** of course you weren’t

 

**Ship All The Things:** suuuuuuuuuure

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** i’m finding parking and wtf you guys talking about

 

**Ship All The Things:** nooooooooothing  
\- but that was fast, perc

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** no traffic woooooo  
\- get my order ready lyon 

 

**HearMeRoar:** ok, perc  
\- is it your usual taro milk tea?

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** uuuuuuuuh  
\- how about you surprise me this time

 

**Ship All The Things:** !!!!!!  
\- WHOA THERE PERC  
\- GETTING ADVENTUROUS THERE?????

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** maybe  
\- just felt like it  
\- also who should i follow on tumblr  
\- my dash is just you guys

 

**Ship All The Things:** OH OH OH OH

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** SUGGESTIONS FROM SOMEONE WHO ISN’T CHELL THE FANGIRL PLS

 

**Ship All The Things:** RUDE  
\- oh, luke is here now  
\- yay!!!!!  
\- and it has only been 25 minutes wtf  
\- what happened to traffic????  
\- WHAT ROUTE DID HE TAKE????

 

**Rhett and Link:** I told you Luke was coming.

 

**Ship All The Things:** oh yes, you’ll know all about that, wouldn’t you

 

**HearMeRoar:** CHELL NO

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** HOLY SHIT WTF CHELL  
\- THAT WAS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY  
\- I ALMOST WALKED INTO A CAR  
\- YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!!!!!!!

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** ...i’m going to leave without you bish

 

**Ship All The Things:** SORRY NOT SORRY  
\- AND I’M ALREADY IN YOUR CAR

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** then why tf are you two talking on here???????

 

**HearMeRoar:** TELL ME LUKE ISN’T DRIVING WHILE ON THE PHONE  
\- SAFETY, CHILDREN

 

**Ship All The Things:** don’t worry, dad  
\- we only just left my place  
\- he’s no longer on his phone  
\- also his car is way too neat  
\- it’s so weird and new

 

**Rhett and Link:** It’s his “baby”, as he likes to say.

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** well he did save hard for it

 

**Ship All The Things:** yeah  
\- it’s a very nice car, i’ll admit  
\- very comfy  
\- i need to ask luke more often for rides

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** moocher

 

**Ship All The Things:** shush  
\- i prefer the term   
\- opportunist 

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** suuuuuuuuuuure  
\- also i would like to inform you that there are way too many people in line for boba  
\- wtf  
\- lyon is so hard at work look at him shaking that milk tea

 

**Ship All The Things:** creeper

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** bish  
\- i’m going to ignore you   
\- and do some shit on tumblr then

 

\--

 

Percy | 20 | USA

 

a japanese major just trying to graduate

 

i don’t know what i’m doing on this site cause my friends dragged me here unwillingly

 

**[saved]**

 

\--

 

You are now following  **tenmei**

 

\--

 

Hina | 24 | California

 

Former pro LoL player

Currently an actress

I travel a lot and I love food, especially sweets

 

FAQ here

 

imdb here

 

\--

 

page 1  **[next]**

 

\--

 

[previous] page 88  **[next]**

 

\--

 

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, HearMeRoar, Rhett and Link, Ship All The Things, I Did Nothing Wrong**

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** guys save me  
\- i'm still looking through her tumblr

 

**HearMeRoar:** jesus, perc, you've been on her tumblr since boba  
\- you need a break

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** i can't   
\- i'm on page 154

 

**Ship All The Things:** wtf percy  
\- even i didn't go that far back

 

**HearMeRoar:** luke

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** what?

 

**HearMeRoar:** go to his place and take his computer away  
\- you live the closest

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** i don't think that's possible  
\- i'm pretty sure crazy perc beats out athletic luke

 

**Ship All The Things:** percy, wanna play wow?  
\- raiding is almost out  
\- and i need some items

 

**SirPercivalFTW:** ok i’ll sign on

 

**Ship All The Things:** YAY!

 

**HearMeRoar:** well, that solves that problem

 

**Rhett and Link:** He has two monitors.

 

**HearMeRoar:** oh crap, that's right  
\- LUKE GO TO HIS PLACE NOW

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** I CAN'T DO THAT  
\- cause i’m at rhett’s place   
\- which is nowhere near sunset

 

**HearMeRoar:** goddammit, Rhett  
\- why you have to live so far

 

**Rhett and Link:** Because cheaper rent.  
\- And I don't live with my parents anymore.

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** wow way to hit us right in the heart

 

**Rhett and Link:** Throwing that pillow at me was completely unnecessary.

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** no i disagree  
\- it was totally necessary

 

**HearMeRoar:** wait, if you’re at his place, shouldn’t you two be doing...uh, couple-y things?  
\- instead of being online?

 

**Rhett and Link:** Do you not enjoy our company, Lyon?

 

**HearMeRoar:** i was just wondering…

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** i see how it is  
\- you don’t want us here

 

**HearMeRoar:** that’s not what i mean!

 

**Ship All The Things:** I THINK WHAT LYON MEANS IS THAT HE THINKS YOU TWO SHOULD BE HAVING KINKY GAY SEX INSTEAD

 

**HearMeRoar:** WTF CHELL NO

 

**Ship All The Things:** DON’T LIE  
\- YOU KNOW THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO IMPLY

 

**I Did Nothing Wrong:** why does it have to be kinky  
\- can’t it just be plain ol vanilla gay sex or something?

 

**Ship All The Things:** no, obviously not  
\- i bet rhett is into some kinky shit  
\- hahahahaah

 

**HearMeRoar:** ...i really don’t want to be here for this

 

**Rhett and Link:** In that case, I’m going to steal Luke away now. Feel free to notify us when you need us.

 

**HearMeRoar:** uhhhhhhhh  
\- oh god, i don’t want to think about what they might be doing

 

**Ship All The Things:** it’s rhett!  
\- he’s probably just messing with us  
\- probably  
\- i also feel the need to say that percy has stopped responding to me   
\- even though he’s still helping me in this dungeon

 

**HearMeRoar:** oh god, of all things he could be multitasking on

 

**Ship All The Things:** i tried, dad  
\- i tried  
\- but his crush is too strong

 

\--

 

**Percy >> Big Bro Lance**

 

(3:26 AM)  I have a problem help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shhhhhh don't ask me why I didn't upload the next chapter until now. 
> 
> I also get carried away writing Percy and his friends because it's just too much fun. I can excuse it as...uh...fleshing out the characters????


	6. Meet the Round Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy accidentally includes all his siblings in on the action, realizes that the world is smaller than he thought, and gets bad(?) relationship advice.

**GROUP CHAT -- SirPercivalFTW, Lancelot of Avalon, Knightmare, Queen Guin, Okay Kay, Gino Weinberg**

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** what did you do this time, percy?  
\- i'll tell mom and dad if it's anything like last time

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf  
\- why are you replying here  
\- I ALSO TEXTED YOU LIKE HOURS AGO  
\- this is so belated bro

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** i was asleep, stupid  
\- i am three or so hours ahead of you right now  
\- do you remember what time zones are?  
\- do you need a presentation?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i do not deserve this  
\- you asshole  
\- i want a new brother

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** i have heard that too many times in my twenty six years of living  
\- i no longer care

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf you weren't a brother all your life  
\- gawain was born two years after you  
\- you technically should have heard that for 24 years  
\- stop lying  
\- why you always lying

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...i did not raise such a smartass  
\- anyway i don't have long  
\- so what's the matter, percy?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i just went to the end of the tumblr of a girl i currently like  
\- and i haven't slept at all  
\- hence my text

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...what the fuck, percy  
\- you use tumblr?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** BRUH  
\- THAT AIN'T THE POINT  
\- WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THIS

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** it was my duty as your brother to mess with you

 

 **Knightmare:** LITTLE PERCIVAL HAS A CRUSH ON SOMEONE?!?!?!

 

 **SirPervicalFTW:** WTF GAWAIN  
\- WHERE DID YOU COME FROM  
\- WAIT A SEC IT'S LIKE 11  
\- WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING  
\- I SEE YOU THERE PLAYING HEARTHSTONE

 

 **Knightmare:** HOW DID YOU KNOW  
\- oh right  
\- betrayed by the discord  
\- but we aren't talking about me right now  
\- the spotlight is on you  
\- who is this girl

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** uh actually  
\- i just realized something  
\- lance might know her

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...what  
\- are you saying she's in the entertainment business or something?  
\- or from school somehow?  
\- because i can't think of any other way

 

 **Knightmare:** if you knew her from school, that girl has to be at least 22 and at most 30  
\- i really hope she's younger perc

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wellllllllll  
\- remember the girl in your most recent music video????

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** hina?  
\- HOW DID YOU MEET HER?  
\- WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

 

 **Knightmare:** holy shit you made lance capslock  
\- congratulations

 

 **Queen Guin:** WTF IS GOING ON  
\- IS BIG BRO FINALLY GROWING UP  
\- PERCY HOW WHEN WHAT WHERE AND ETC  
\- DETAILS BIG BROTHER

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** WHAT SHE SAID

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** wtf is the whole family online right now  
\- ???????  
\- I GUESS I'LL JUST WAIT FOR KAY THEN

 

 **Okay Kay:** hey, what's up

 

 **Queen Guin:** -points-  
\- the round table has gathered  
\- now spill percy

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ...do i have to  
\- this was why i sent lance a text  
\- SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT

 

 **Queen Guin:** HOW RUDE

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** YEAH  
\- WE'RE JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU BRO

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** i figured i would need their help in dealing with you and your problems  
\- hence why i responded here  
\- and i was right

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ...wow  
\- i hate my family

 

 **Knightmare:** you know you don’t mean that little percy

 

 **Queen Guin:** SO SPILL ALREADY BIG BRO

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** guin you are only two years younger than me  
\- stop calling me big bro

 

 **Queen Guin:** BUT YOU ARE MY BIG BRO

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** IT GETS CONFUSING CAUSE YOU CALL US ALL BIG BRO  
\- except for trist and kay of course

 

 **Knightmare:** he’s right  
\- for once

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** HEY

 

 **Knightmare:** we should only call lance big bro

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** i vote we call him aniki

 

 **Okay Kay:** like in anime?

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** yes  
\- lance is aniki now

 

 **Queen Guin:** ANIKI ANIKI ANIKI  
\- AWWWW  
\- he’s not responding

 

 **Okay Kay:** i think he has a photoshoot right now  
\- for a magazine or something

 

 **Knightmare:** no that’s next week  
\- he has an interview today

 

 **Queen Guin:** wait no  
\- aniki is in nyc filming for his new music video  
\- i just checked his tags

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** which ones

 

 **Queen Guin:** twitter  
\- there were some fans tweeting about how they spotted him  
\- and then i checked google

 

 **Knightmare:** well regardless of what he’s doing  
\- he’s busy  
\- SO LITTLE PERCIVAL  
\- TELL YOUR FAMILY WHAT’S WRONG

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ...i hate you ALL  
\- but FINE  
\- i’ll tell you guys  
\- just don’t SAY ANYTHING

 

 **Queen Guin:** WE WOULD NEVER  
\- WE ARE A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** YEAH WHAT SHE SAID

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** how tristan and guin aren’t the twins, i will never understand

 

 **Okay Kay:** it’s okay, aniki  
\- i wonder about that myself too

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...please don’t call me aniki

 

 **Queen Guin:** BUT ANIKIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** BUT ANIKI  
\- IT’S SO PERFECT

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** CAN WE PLEASE GET TO PERCY’S PROBLEM NOW?!

 

 **Knightmare:** daaaaaaamn  
\- aniki capslocked again  
\- twice in a day

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...et tu, gawain

 

 **Knightmare:** what a record  
\- highfive anyone?  
\- -ignores aniki-

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** you’re not here big bro

 

 **Queen Guin:** yeah you’re at work

 

 **Okay Kay:** can’t highfive you if you’re not with us

 

 **Knightmare:** you were wrong aniki  
\- i swear to god we have triplets instead of twins

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** percy, please begin

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i have a big enough crush on hina that i went to the end of her tumblr and i don’t know what to do now  
\- that’s…it  
\- IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL  
\- YOU ALL WERE MAKING IT SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL

 

 **Knightmare:** little percy

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** omg pls stop calling me that

 

 **Knightmare:** this is the first time you’re this obsessed about someone  
\- so yes this is a big deal  
\- and no i refuse to stop calling you that

 

 **Queen Guin:** yeah  
\- you weren’t like this with that bish whatsherface

 

 **Okay Kay:** that’s a bit mean, sis

 

 **Queen Guin:** no  
\- i don’t remember irrelevant bishes  
\- and she is definitely irrelevant  
\- she lucky i didn’t do anything to ruin her

 

 **Okay Kay:** it’s okay, that’s why we have aniki and big bro

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** i don’t think i ever saw them that mad before

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** uh yeah i still get nightmares about the faces they had

 

 **Knightmare:** we are the big bros  
\- we protect our little ones

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** ...right  
\- so, percy, have you told hina about your feelings?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** NO AND I DON’T PLAN TO  
\- I’M SURE THIS WILL JUST FADE AWAY EVENTUALLY

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** bro  
\- when did you two start talking?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** about a month and half ago

 

 **Queen Guin:** how did you two meet?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** i uh accidentally texted her  
\- and we just kept talking  
\- and then we started playing games together

 

 **Okay Kay:** this isn’t going to fade, percy  
\- and it seems like she likes you back somewhat

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** OK BUT PROBABLY NOT IN THE SAME WAY

 

 **Knightmare:** well in that case  
\- desperate times call for desperate measures  
\- lance my aniki my bro

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** …

 

 **Knightmare:** you still got her number right???

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** omg lance no  
\- NO  
\- DON’T DO IT  
\- BROTHER PLS

 

 **Queen Guin:** OMG YES ANIKI YES  
\- ASK HER  
\- FOR PERCY

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** DON’T YOU DARE

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** DO IT DO IT DO IT

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** KAY SAY SOMETHING

 

 **Okay Kay:** i have nothing to say

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** FUCKING KAY I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE ON MY SIDE  
\- I HATE YOU ALL  
\- THIS FAMILY SUCKS

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** if percy doesn’t want me to do it, then i’ll respect his wishes

 

 **Queen Guin:** awwwwwwwwwwww  
\- no fun aniki

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** omg thank you  
\- i take back what i said  
\- but only about lance cause he cool

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** but you need to tell her when you’re ready  
\- or else you will be miserable from keeping it in  
\- now i need to get back to work

 

 **Queen Guin:** more scenes?

 

 **Okay Kay:** you’re still coming back home this weekend, right?

 

 **Lancelot of Avalon:** yes  
\- i’ll talk to you guys later

 

 **Knightmare:** BYE ANIKI  
\- but seriously little percy  
\- i think she likes you somewhat  
\- just go for it  
\- this is advice from your other big brother  
\- your...oniichan

 

 **Queen Guin:** ...i just got chills  
\- so gross

 

 **Knightmare:** sob  
\- picking on your oniichan….

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeaaaaaaaaaaaah no gawain  
\- no

 

 **Okay Kay:** you miss the steps you don’t take, percy

 

 **Queen Guin:** whatever kay said  
\- go for it

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** we’re cheering you on!!!

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** ...guys wtf with this sapfest  
\- i appreciate the support but wow

 

 **Queen Guin:** WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT BRO

 

 **Okay Kay:** do you have any plans to meet in real life?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** uh yeah  
\- the friday after next  
\- my friends and i are going to hang out with her when she comes back from china

 

 **Knightmare:** oh i think i heard about that from aniki  
\- she was filming for the live action mulan right?

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** yeah  
\- i didn’t know the two still talked after they wrapped up the music video

 

 **Queen Guin:** i think someone is jealoussssssssssss

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** I AM NOT  
\- SHUT UP GUIN

 

 **Queen Guin:** YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SHOUT IRL TOO YOU JERK

 

 **Knightmare:** lololol  
\- they only started talking cause lance told her that he was a fan of hers back when she was a pro player  
\- and then she told him that she was a fan of his music  
\- i think there are some rumors about them dating too  
\- which are untrue so don’t worry little percy

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** STOP CALLING ME THAT  
\- AND I’M NOT JEALOUS DAMMIT

 

 **Gino Weinberg:** you’re so jealous  
\- this is so amusing  
\- i forgot how entertaining percy is when he’s in denial

 

 **Queen Guin:** just accept it bro  
\- you’ll feel better

 

 **SirPercivalFTW:** I’M GOING TO LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION NOW

 

 **Knightmare:** YOU CAN’T ESCAPE US FOREVER LITTLE PERCY  
\- WE LITERALLY LIVE TOGETHER

 

\--

 

**Lancelot >> Hina**

 

(1:02 PM) Hey, Hina

 

(1:03 PM) Hi, Lance!

 

(1:03 PM) You’re still working?

 

(1:04 PM) Just finished wrapping up for today. Having some drinks with my coworkers right now.  
(1:05 PM) What’s up?

 

(1:05 PM) I heard you’re friends with my little brother now

 

(1:06 PM) Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection… Yeah, I’m friends with Percy.  
(1:07 PM) Started talking to him a little over a month ago. Did he tell you about me?

 

(1:07 PM) Yeah. I hope your intentions to my little brother are pure, Hina

 

(1:08 PM) Hahaha! Don’t worry, Lance. I have no ill will to Percy  
(1:09 PM) So, I heard that you have a world tour coming up in December

 

(1:10 PM) I do, yes. Want to come?

 

(1:11 PM) Only if you can get me VIP tickets!

 

(1:12 PM) You drive a hard bargain, Hina, but I’m sure I can scourge some up

 

(1:13 PM) You’re the best, Lance. Are you going to be in San Francisco when I’m back in two weeks?

 

(1:14 PM) I think I might be able to make it. Percy told me you two are meeting then too

 

(1:15 PM) Ah, yes. To be honest, I’m a bit nervous. It has been a while since I’ve hung out with people who aren’t my friends or in the business…

 

(1:17 PM) It’ll be fine. Percy is a good kid  
(1:18 PM) He might be a bit awkward at first, but he’ll be the same person you’ve been talking to after he relaxes

 

(1:19 PM) That’s good. I’m glad  
(1:20 PM) You’re such a good older brother, Lance

 

(1:22 PM) So I’ve been told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much shorter chapter than usual, but hey, at least you got to meet the aforementioned siblings! As you can tell, they're a handful, but Percy loves them even if they torment him so. They're also all nerds. NEEERRRRDDDSSS
> 
> Lancelot of Avalon: Lance, the oldest child  
> Knightmare: Gawain, the second oldest  
> Queen Guin: Guinevere, the older twin sister  
> Okay Kay: Kay, the younger twin sister  
> Gino Weinberg: Tristan, the youngest child
> 
> If you guys want any background info, like what their college majors are, the meaning behind their usernames, or what they do for a living, just ask me in the comments! I'll answer :D
> 
> I haven't given up on this story, but I'm trying to figure out the endgame and whatnot of this story, and I have too many ways for this story to end. Just trying to figure out the best way!


End file.
